Deadlands: Riders on the Storm

Picking up Pieces

The town, with Geraldine's help, manages to clean itself up in the aftermath of the assault by the Man in Black. Families are reunited, the dead are gathered and taken to the church, and lives begin to be put back together. 

Geraldine does her work in silence and takes herself back to her home when finished. 

The following days are taken up with rebuilding and funeral services for the fallen. Geraldine goes to Mamie McDaniel's boarding house and collects Roland's things. She takes them home and lays them out, looking them over. She looks for some sign of a next of kin, and finds only a folded up photograph of a young Creole woman with the words "Chloe—New Orleans, 1870" inscribed on the back. The woman has Roland's wry smile and eyes. She takes his gris-gris bag and his Hoyle's Book of Games and tucks them away with her other occult gear. 

She arranges for Roland's funeral to be held at the Imperial, which scandalizes only those that didn't know Roland. He is interred in the nearby cemetery in his best suit. Geraldine has a tombstone erected to honor her friend:

Roland Antoine Dupre

July 15, 1852 – December 15 1876

"What you are will show in what you do" — T. Edison

Geraldine busies herself with scientific inquiries at home. Though she still meets periodically with the Reverend, Marshal Kimsey, and Mayor-Elect Putnam, she largely keeps to herself. Except for the funeral service, she does not set foot in the Imperial.

On December 29, 1876, two weeks after the assault, she receives notice that Philetus Crinklaw has arrived from Virginia City to apply for the position of apothecary. She meets with the druggist, along with Doc Fabry. Philetus is a lanky man in a fine suit that almost seems too big for his thin frame. He has short, slicked-back hair and sideburns. He smiles a lot and seems very friendly. The doc quizzes him on his pharmaceutical knowledge and seems satisfied. He can start Monday, January 1, 1877.

Lila reports that Ethan Jennings has recovered from his wounds during the fight with the Man in Black. It didn't take long, just a few days for the gut wound to close almost completely, leaving only the wound that originally killed the harrowed young deputy. Lila wants to keep Ethan on as deputy, "these superstitious sidewinders be damned. He's earned it, coming down to help us against that black-garbed piece of shit." The Reverend seems uneasy at the prospect of an "abomination before God" being given leave to stay in town, much less a prominent position there. Mayor Putnam is inclined to trust Lila's judgment, with the understanding that if the harrowed deputy turns on her, she is to put him down "with no uncertain prejudice." For his part, Ethan elects to continue staying in the cabin up on the mountain, but will come down and and work in the town on his shifts, which are usually at night to give Lila a rest.  

The town is going to be facing a new year with a new mayor, a new church, a new apothecary, and some hope in their ability to withstand even the most unholy of adversity. Still, there is a pall over the town as the dead never rest easy in Paiute Springs. Even if they stay in the ground, they weigh on the minds of those they left behind. 

A Night of Infamy
December 16, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

December 16, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

A Night of Infamy

by Oliver Milhouse

The night of December 15, 1876 will live long in the hearts and minds of the good people of Paiute Springs, Nevada. It was on this night that lives were sacrificed in the defense of our good town in the face of the darkest of evils.

The night was cold. Clouds rolled in quickly and a light snow began to fall around sundown. But this was no ordinary winter storm, for there was an eldritch green glow playing out in the clouds that gathered over the town. People bundled up and hurried to their homes as the sun sank behind the mountains.

It began about an hour after the sun went down. A lone rider thundered down Main Street and stopped in front of the Imperial Saloon, yelling through a hoarse throat, "Come on Paiute Springs! Time to join the party!" According to reports, reports verified by the principles after the event, this was Whiskey Jack O'Donnell—the very same outlaw that terrorized our town, and our Reverend, nearly a year ago. After a brief gun fight with patrons within the Imperial, namely our spitfire Miss Geraldine Keeler and her companion, Mr. Roland Dupre, Whiskey Jack was laid low in the street. 

He was but the opening salvo of a full-on assault of our township by the forces of darkness. The walking dead, dozens of them, began shuffling through the streets and attempting to eat the very flesh off of our bones. Spirits flitted from roof to roof, bringing abject terror with them wherever they touched down. And through it all, at the end of Main Street, stood a lone man in a black duster and matching broad-brimmed hat. He stood without a care in the world, almost as waiting for something—or someone. The menace that emanated from this man was palpable and it was clear he was one hombre with whom one should not trifle.

Townsfolk throughout Paiute Springs defended their homes with honor, fighting off the walking dead with their guns. Some discovered that they would rise again lest one finally injured the creature in the head—so some accurate shooting was indeed needed to finally defeat the menace. 

The new church bell rang as a beacon to call the town to the church as a place of safety. There, Reverend Gage and Doc Fabry ministered to the folks as was their calling. Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre, along with Mr. David Allan, rescued the Putnam family and our launderer, Han Lau, and escorted them to the church. Along the way, they encountered a local man being accosted by the walking dead—they destroyed the creatures but, alas, they could not save Jakob Braun.

Miss Keeler had come upon a scientific method to dispatch the more ethereal of the assailants to the church—regular bullets or knives would only pass through the spirits. However, she discovered that bullets treated with ghost rock could, in fact, be quite effective. She and Mr. Dupre, who also loaded his weapon with this spectral shot, managed to dispatch the spirits—though Mr. Dupre fell in the fighting, preternaturally scared into a heart attack by the foul creatures. In fact, our own Town Marshal, Lila Kimsey, faced off with one of the creatures and came away with a shock of whitened hair.

After the most of the dead had been vanquished, a stern Miss Keeler, accompanied by our own Mayor-Elect Lionel Putnam, stalked down Main Street to a showdown with who the locals now term The Man in Black. I witnessed this extraordinary exchange and am still in awe of the tenacity in the face of such eldritch evil displayed by Miss Keeler and Mayor Putnam. 

Geraldine advanced on man, never blinking, and raised her gun with ghost rock shot and fired—but the Man in Black cloaked himself in shadows and provided not much of a target. Mr. Putnam advanced and fired one barrel of his shotgun toward the man, but, God help him, his hands were shaking so bad it was hard for the stalwart smith to fire straight.  

The Man in Black moved his hand and swarm of eldritch green bolts flew forth, like unholy wasps, and hit Miss Keeler in the gut—but, surprisingly, they did little harm to her. Her duster seemed to repel the bolts nicely. She fired again—the nearly took the Man in Black off his feet as the ghost rock bullet exploded in the man's gut. Still, she marched implacably on and the Man in Black stood his ground. 

Mr. Putnam continued to fire, but to no avail against his shadowy, and frightening, foe. The Man in Black seemed to be toying with Miss Keeler and drew a gleaming Bowie knife from within his duster as he taunted her. The two began a dance of death—Miss Keeler firing at point-blank ranger at the shadow-covered Man while the Man in Black's blade darted out and to cut her. She danced out of the way and turned her duster to protect herself from the onslaught.

Finally, she looked up to see a fourth person enter the duel. This harrowing apparition of a man, with his gaunt, skeletal features and grim face, was a stranger to me. But he lowered a pistol and shot the Man in Black in the back. The Man turned, snarling and unleashed his bolts of doom. They struck the newcomer in the gut and laid him flat on his back, unmoving. The Man in Black turned his attention back to Miss Keeler—which was a mistake. 

Mayor Putnam reloaded his double-barrel and fired into the Man in Black, filling his guts full of shot. The shotgun blew a hole clean through the Man. For his part, the Man in Black looked down at his wounds, almost unbelieving and murmured "It's been so long…" He fell to the ground, dead at last. 

But just to be sure, because times have told us in Paiute Springs that final death is all but certain, she put two more of the ghost rock bullets into the man's skull, exploding it all over her feet.

The walking dead were all dispatched and today the cleaning begins. A cart with five bodies was found just outside of town. According to Miss Keeler, these are likely the corpses of the spirits—she termed them "specters"—that were flitting about town. The corpses have all been hauled to the outskirts of town and burned upon a pyre—-except for the young man that came out to help Miss Keeler in her final showdown. He was taken into the jail by Marshal Kimsey and nursed to health.

This young man, who is apparently our own former deputy, Ethan Jennings, has apparently been afflicted with this "harrowing" that has plagued our lands of late. He has died—but not passed on. But, in light of current events, it is clear that he still considers us all friends. Only time will tell if darkness will overtake him—but, then again, is that not also true of us all?

Funerals will soon begin for the fallen. The town will renew itself—but it must take time to grieve its losses and learn from them. A new year will soon begin and the town will walk into it more somber, more seasoned, and, I pray, more hopeful. 

Hellish Locomotive Plows Into Town
December 1, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

December 1, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Hellish Locomotive Plows Into Town

by Oliver Milhouse

The peaceful veneer of our humble township was broken yesterday by the inexplicable arrival of Lucfier's Own Locomotive, and its hellish conductors. A monstrous engine powered by brimstone and lost souls shot down the tracks that occupy Milton's Pass, to the north. With it arrive a host of lost souls that proceeded to attack every innocent they encountered. Though for the fact that I witnessed this apocalyptic scene myself, I would have counted it an opium drem or feverous delusion. 

Much of our town accounted for themselves well in the face of such infernal adversity. Though some have fallen, I truly believe that we are fortunate—perhaps even blessed—that the town itself was not taken completely into the Abyss. 

While the town battled the shrieking souls of the damned with every weapon available to them, hope was nearly lost with the arrival of Beelzebub himself—a huge, cloven-hooved winged monstrosity. Our own Geraldine Keeler and Roland Dupre faced off with the beast and, somehow, with the grace of the Almighty, drove it forth. Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre could not be reached for comment. 

As if adding insult to injury, a band of outlaws led by Devil Reese came riding through the town at this exact moment! However, much to the ruffians' credit, many turned and faced the onslaught of the infernal with the townsfolk, as if their common humanity was at stake. 

The train itself derailed at the end of the tracks colloquially known as Milton's Folly. And there it sits today, cooling from its aura of hellfire. The locomotive seems to be made of iron and is outfitted with all manner of spikes and unpleasant accoutrements, and the smell of sulfur lingers about the infernal device. 

But how is it that such an event happened in our sleepy town? And why? Well, friends, I'm sorry to say that we were betrayed from within. Some of our number apparently devoted themselves to the work of the Devil and brought this great machine out from the Pits. Know these few and beware…

  • Bob Lund, our humble bank teller.
  • Marjorie Allan, wife of our mercantile owner, David Allan.
  • Homer Beauregard, groundskeeper for our local church.
  • Pat Collins, one of two undertakers in town.
  • Willie Huddleston, beloved piano player at the Imperial Saloon.
  • And finally, Thaddeus Braun, attorney and prominent man of business, who appears to the ringleader of the cult.

While we lick our wounds from a great battle, the wounds of betrayal are not so easily treated.

Some of the cultists are being held by our own Town Marshal, Lila Kimsey. Others either fell in the battle or have skulked their way into the desert like the sidewinders they are.

But now, we have a monstrosity sitting in our town as a memorial to evil. What is to be done? Shall we turn to Reverend Gage for guidance against the remnants of the forces of Hell—or to Miss Keeler and her more scientific notions? Only time will tell. In the meantime, it is more important now to band together as a town and heal the wounds of this massacre and betrayal.

Shootout on Main Street
November 5, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

November 5, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Shootout on Main Street

by Oliver Milhouse

This past Friday, around noon, Paiute Springs saw one of the most deadly altercations in its short history play out on the main street of town. 

Local gambler and raconteur, Roland Dupre, and his lady-friend and local scientist, Miss Geraldine Keeler, were strolling down the street with a purpose. According to Sheriff Lila Kimsey, the two were on their way to a meeting with Reverend Timothy Gage, patriarch of  our local church. 

Along the way, the three were accosted to by three men in the employ of recently-prominent citizen, George Johnson. These men, later identified as "the Clay Brothers" (Jimmy, Lazarus "Lash", and Chance), surrounded the two erstwhile citizens in the street and began, according to the testimony of Sheriff Kimsey "verbally accosting" the pair in an intimidating manner. 

While folks gathered in along the street to watch the altercation, Miss Keeler announced that she didn't have to answer the questions of "Jimmy Clay and his Harrowed brothers." Now, with the recent troubles in our fair town, the word "harrowed" takes on a very ominous meaning—it is whispered in certain quarters that another bad-man who had visited our town earlier in the year, Whisky Jack O'Donnell, was "harrowed"—a term that, as near as can be ascertained, indicates that the person in question should be joining the choir ephemeral and not walking about accosting folks in the streets. In fact, some folks think that our own former deputy, Ethan Jennings, who was fatally wounded in a firefight here in town, is, in fact, one of these "harrowed" men.  

Miss Keeler also pronounced their employer, Mr. Johnson, an "evil boss."

At any rate, our firebrand Miss Keeler was not impressed with the Clay Brothers. The man in question, ostensibly Jimmy Clay, indicated that she and her man should clear the street and return property not belonging to them to Mr. Johnson (it should be noted that Miss Keeler was carrying a large valise at the time). However, Mr. Clay used a term not to the liking of either Miss Keeler or Mr. Dupre in reference to Mr. Dupre's skin tone. 

Quick as a viper after a cup of coffee, Mr. Dupre's gun was out and four shots were fired into Jimmy Clay's head. As was the want of the Clay Brothers, Jimmy Clay was wearing a white porcelain mask to hide his features. This mask parted in twain and slipped off the face of Jimmy Clay after the first shot, revealing what is reported to be a horror. His face was gaunt, sallow, and yellowed like old paper. Lips were peeled back to reveal rotten teeth. Glassy, blue eyes gazed out and met Mr. Dupre's steely stare. Despite Dupre's four well-placed shots, the man did not fall. In fact, one of the holes STARTED CLOSING AROUND THE WOUND

This opened the floodgates of gunfire. Lash Clay drew two Peacemakers and commenced to firing into Mr. Dupre multiple times. Chance fired on Miss Keeler, who also drew a weapon and fired, to no avail. Sheriff Kimsey joined the fray from a distance with her Winchester, but by then it was too late—Mr. Dupre and Miss Keeler fell prone into the street. 

Suddenly, more gunfire erupted from upper-floor of the Mercantile Store and from the alleyway nearby. Lionel Putnam, of the smithy and livery stable, and his two sons, both fired into the street at the Clay Brothers from the alley. From the Mercantile, David Allan's shotgun shells exploded into the fray. All of them meant business—they aimed, and hit, the Clay Brothers in the head with an explosion of brain, bone, and blood. 

An eerie silence fell over the street. Some say a strange shadow fell over the scene and then flitted away, out of town. It's hard to say—it was a cloudy day. But, at the time of this reporting, the valise that Miss Keeler was carrying is still missing.

Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre were rushed into the office of Doc Fabry, who purported to do all he could for them. Reverend Gage followed to give them peace, should the occasion require it. 

At this time, Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre are doing fine—Doc Fabry said it was the damnedest thing he ever saw and swore that he would be attending the new church more often, once the work is finished. Reverend Gage attributed their speedy recovery to "the will of the Almighty."

Mr. George Johnson is currently missing and unaccounted for. His two house servants, Magda and Hans Eisensee, are as mystified about the disappearance of their employer as the rest of the town. 

Sheriff Kimsey states that, should he return, Mr. Johnson will be considered a person of interest in a unnamed conspiracy against the town. She refused to go into more detail about the case. 

The bodies of the Clay Brothers, which, according to a report from the Arizona Daily Star from August, 1875, died in a gunfight with Texas Rangers outside of Yuma and were buried on "Boot Hill," were burned in a funeral bonfire outside of the town proper. There, words were said by Reverend Gage over the bodies, as well as the following:

"We find ourselves in the time of great miracles, and a time of great horrors. It seems our little town has been visited by more horrors than miracles of late. But we now find ourselves under siege by the forces of Evil. It is time to band together, under the Sword of God, to protect ourselves from the depredations of evil men—and whatever else awaits us in the darkness."

Jefferson to Step Down as Mayor

by Oliver Milhouse

John Paul "J. P." Jefferson,  longtime mayor of Paiute Springs and owner of the Prince Royal Hotel, has announced that effective on January 1, 1877, he will be resigning from the office of Mayor of Paiute Springs. Citing "recent stresses and a desire to see democracy in action," Jefferson will be leaving the post after being elected three times into the position by the citizens of our town. 

Jefferson's resignation forces the town to call a special election for a successor. According to Clyde Stevenson, Chair of the hastily established Election Committee, the election will be held on Tuesday, December 5, 1876. 

All eligible males are encouraged to vote. Nominations for candidates can be submitted to Mr, Stevenson at the Land Assessor's office in the Braun building on Swain Street. 

Keeler Receives Prestigious Award

by Oliver Milhouse

Our local eccentric scientist, Miss Geraldine Keeler, recently attended the Annual Meeting of the Great Basin Scientific Society in Virginia City, presenting her paper, "Looking to the Future: Ethics and Science in the New Age." While there, she was presented by the Society's Distinguished Service Award for her actions during an altercation at the Smith & Robards' Grand Expostion in Salt Lake City, Utah (Deseret) earlier in the year. 

The Distinguished Service Award of the Great Basin Scientific Society is bestowed upon individuals who have been recognized as having supported the Society through service exceeding any normal expectation.  Award recipients have been recognized by the Officers, and acknowledged through awards made at the annual Society meeting. 

The Officers may select and honor one Academy member each year for his or her outstanding service to The Society. 

Daniel and Crosby to Wed

by Oliver Milhouse

Congratulations are in order for Mr. Bartholomew Daniel and Miss Priscilla Crosby. The two plan to wed in a small ceremony, "just as soon as that wandering Judge gets back." Judge Perryman, the judge who serves the Paiute Springs area, is currently riding circuit and is due to return within a week. 

Mr. Daniel is self-employed as an independent miner with a small stake in silver. Miss Crosby is the daughter of the late Horace Crosby and his widow, Heloise. They have a small home on Camp Road where Heloise performs a great deal of mending for the folks in town. 

Grant to Release Pinkertons

From the United States Wire Service

In a statement released today from Washington, President Ulysses S. Grant announced that, beginning on January 1, 1877, the contract between the United States government and the Pinkerton Detective Agency will expire. The contract will not be renewed.

Pinkerton agents have been used extensively in recent years to gather intelligence, enforce ordinances and laws, and help the scattered U.S. Marshal service keep the peace on the frontier. 

"The agents of the Pinkerton Agency have served this country well. But it has always been a relationship based on the inability of this government to address certain concerns that, frankly, lie within its own purview, not those of the Pinkertons. My administration is now in a position to take care of this business in a manner which is prudent and necessary," President Grant said.

Boyce Wallington, a Democratic congressman from Illinois, expressed concern at the development. "What does this administration have in store for us, now that the Pinkertons are no longer involved? Sure, they were independent contractors, but at least there was some oversight. There has been no information forthcoming from Grant or his administration about how these 'concerns' will now be handled. That's a problem."

Officials at the Pinkerton Agency have issued no public comment on the development.

Large Coyote Menaces Town
September 3, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

September 3, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Large Coyote Menaces Town

by Oliver Milhouse

Citizens all over our Main Street have reported seeing a large coyote prowling about in broad daylight earlier in the week. The creature, reputed to be a huge specimen of the species, was seen on the street by several walkers-by and even managed to menace Mrs. Marjorie Allan at the General Mercantile.

"The thing was huge! Big as a small man. And ornery, too. I swear it winked at me as it knocked goods about in my store!"

Drew Goodall, a silver miner from the nearby camp town, confirmed the sighting. "Oh, yeah. I saw it alright. Walked upright on its hind legs like a prancing pony. Probably what made it seem so big. Yipped it's way down the street and out of town. That gambler fellow, Dupre, took a shot at it and run it off. It was menacing that Miss Keeler he shacks up with."

The coyote was seen on Monday afternoon, but has not been seen since.

War Protests Grow In the East

—Wire Service

As the War rages ever onward, the unpopularity of the conflict, and its presiding officer in President Grant, is reaching an all-time high. Protests from young people are growing especially vociferous, as they feel most affect by the, as they see it, Draconian draft laws necessary to continue the Union war effort.

To add further fuel to the fire, the situation in Canada has been allowed to fester into a confrontation with the British Empire. Ever since the election scandal of 1872, in which an attempt by Confederate Secret Service agents to falsify vote counts in the U.S. Presidential election was thwarted and their base of operations was discovered to be Canada, relations have been hot. About 15,000 men are currently spread from Maine to Minnesota to protect the border against both incursion and desertion of disloyal Union men who wish to avoid the draft. His Majesty's government has sent troops to both Canada and the Confederacy, escalating the situation.

The President's ability to maintain both a war against the Confederacy and against Canada, both with the aid of the British Empire behind them, is highly doubtful by most quarters. While none of these nations seems likely to benefit from a direct military confrontation, history attests that men and nations do not act by reason alone.

Arachne's Circle To Meet on Sunday

—by Oliver Milhouse

The gathering of unattached females that calls itself "Arachne's Circle" will meet this Sunday at Mamie McDaniel's boarding house at 3:00 pm for tea, fellowship, and literature. They are currently reading Miss Emily Brontë's novel, "Wuthering Heights." The gathering is open to any lady in town who wishes to join them.

Death Toll Rises in the Cauldron

—Wire Service

The so-called "Great Rail War" continues to escalate in the canyons west of Denver in Colorado. All of the principles have increased their security forces in region and continue to fight at the slightest provocation. Reports indicate that "bodies are being stacked like cordwood."

Travel along the rails from the East to the West continues to be a perilous proposition. Travelers seeking passage along those routes are advised to traverse via wagon, coach, or a more roundabout route.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, My old hound, Roscoe, has got fleas something fierce. Do you have any advice for me to get rid of these varmints? — J.

Dear J., Poor old hound! A good dousing in apple cider vinegar should do the trick for poor, old, Roscoe. I do hope he gets some relief soon! — Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I've developed a cold sore on my mouth that is unsightly and unwelcome. I can not seem to part with it. What would you recommend to someone in my position? — W.

Dear W., Cold sores are always an unwelcome guest. Try rubbing the sore periodically with vanilla oil or vanilla extract. It may take a bit, but in the end, you should have some respite. It also has a pleasant taste, which is also a blessing. — Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I'm sending a letter to that Jackass in Carson City what calls hisself a Governor. I want to make sure my letter gets a proper hearing. How should I address it to make sure they don't just crumple it up and throw it out with the refuse? — B.

Dear B., Well, you certainly don't want to address your letter to "That Jackass." The proper form of address for a sitting governor is "Dear Governor" followed by the honored gentleman's surname. On the envelope, you'll want to address it to "The Honorable Lewis R. Bradley, Governor of Nevada," followed by the address of the gentleman's estate. Hopefully, Mr. Bradley will take what you have to say with due consideration. — Aunt Sally.

Hayes Trial Concluded, Sentence Set
August 27, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

August 27, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Hayes Trial Concluded, Sentence Set

by Oliver Milhouse

Circuit Judge Bradford Perryman returned to Paiute Springs to conclude the trial of Carlton Hayes, late of Atlanta, Georgia. Hayes was accused of the theft of an heirloom pocket watch from the widow, Mamie McDaniel. He attained legal counsel from Virginia City and Perryman stated that the trial would commence on August 24th.

Testifying and representing the State of Nevada and the City of Paiute Springs was Town Marshal Lila Kimsey. Marshal Kimsey testified as to her part in the events that led to Hayes' capture, including the fight that ensued and resulted in Hayes giving her a nasty cut across the face. Incidental testimony was given by Miss Geraldine Keeler, Mr. Roland Dupre, Mr. Lionel Putnam, and Mr. Eustace Wilhelm as members of the posse. Finally, the Widow McDaniel spoke of her husband's love of that watch and how it reminded her of her late husband's memory.

On the defense was Mr. Sylvester Fiorello, Esq. of Virginia City, representing Mr. Hayes. The defense centered on the "fact" that the watch was a family heirloom of the Hayes family. Further, how can Mr. Hayes steal something that belongs to him? This isn't theft but recovery of his own property. Any reasonable jury would find the case as being such.

Unfortunately, Judge Perryman did not conduct a jury search—he merely pointed out a dozen citizens and told them they were the jury and to listen to the case closely. It was also clear to several of the jury members we interviewed that if they come to the "right" decision, Judge Perryman would sequester them until they did.

It took about an hour for the jury to find in favor of the State, convicting Hayes of larceny, with the added complication in that it was from a widow. Judge Perryman sentenced the gambler and thief to 20 years imprisonment, to be served at the Nevada State Penitentiary in Carson City.

The harsh sentence sent a shockwave through the courtroom, but anyone that has followed Judge Perryman's exploits (such as The Sentinel) should not be surprised.

Mr. Fiorello promised an appeal and would comment no more on the subject.

Hayes was remanded to the Town Jail until retrieved by the prison stage. As Hayes already escaped from the Town Jail once, Marshal Kimsey gathered a watch from the citizenry comprised of Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre. According to Mr. Dupre, "Hayes got a little froggy one morning, but Geraldine put him in his place."

Hayes is expected to be picked up by a prison stage this Sunday morning.

Apparition of Late Deputy Seen About Town

by Oliver Milhouse

Several witnesses have reported seeing the shade of late deputy Ethan Jennings walking about town. He was also seen conversing with Miss Geraldine Keeler on Main Street on the night of the 22nd. Miss Keeler has made no public comment on the subject.

All witnesses swear that they saw the partially decayed and bloated corpse of Ethan Jennings, buried just this week past, walking about. He was even still in the church clothes that he was buried in.

So far the apparition has caused no harm and the citizens are safe—for now.


Property tract 594729, Lot 243 of Group 2 in unincorporated Lincoln County (aka the Rawlins cabin). The property transferred hands on August 26th, from the care of Abraham Rawlins, (lately of Pioche), to that of Miss Geraldine Keeler of Paiute Springs. This transfer was enacted through, and witnessed by, the office of Clyde Stevenson, Land Assessor.

Local Indians Gather for Tribal Talks

by Oliver Milhouse

Local members of the Paiute tribe gathered in Town Hall on Saturday night for a tribal meeting. This closed-door meeting lasted some two hours. Members from the press were denied entry to the meeting. Abigail "Walks with Horses," young assistant to our own Doc Fabry, stated that the meeting was a "Indian matter and of no concern to you." Mayor J. P. Jefferson, who allowed the use of the hall for the meeting, shed no more light on it. "I don't know, Orville. It's Injun stuff. They paid their rent like anybody else."

Pranksters Set off Fireworks in Outhouse

by Oliver Milhouse

Unknown local pranksters set off a string of firecrackers in the outhouse behind the General Mercantile and Town Hall. Local citizen Robert Earl Hickman was inside at the time and made a mess of himself. No one was hurt. No one has claimed responsibility.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, My poor husband suffers from the gout something fierce. Is there anything I can do to relieve his pain?—K.

Dear K., I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Gout is a powerfully painful affliction to have. Have your husband try two teaspoons of apple cider vinegar and two teaspoons of honey in a glass of water every day. That should clear it up within a few days. —Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I love you so much! Can you come my tent and I'll make you an honest woman?—P.

Dear P. I can't think of anything I'd rather do. But I've got letters to answer and no time for such frivolity. And I'm already as honest as the day is long. —Yours, Aunt Sally.   

Dear Aunt Sally, My wife thinks I suffer from gout, but the truth is I'd rather not do my chores. I feel awful guilty it about it now, but how do I come back from that? —D.

Well, D., you've got two choices as I see them. One, come clean and take your well-earned lumps. Two, drink about two gallons of apple cider vinegar and have a miraculous recovery. Either way, your fate is in God's hands now. —Yours, Aunt Sally.

Pre-Trial Mayhem! Defendant Assassinated, Deputy Killed
August 20, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

August 20, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Pre-Trial Mayhem! Defendant Assassinated, Deputy Killed

by Oliver Milhouse

On Wednesday, August 16th, Judge Bradford Perryman returned after riding circuit throughout the county. He arranged to hear the trial of one Dr. Barnabas Henley, perpetrator of the "camp reaper" hoax (reported thoroughly in this journal). Judge Perryman arrived around 10 o'clock that morning and set the trial to begin at noon.

That morning, around 11:45 a.m., Dr. Henley, the defendant, was to be escorted to the Town Hall from the jail across the street. However, eagle-eyed citizen Miss Geraldine Keeler warned the Town Marshal that she spotted what she thought was a gunman on top of the Prince Royal Arms, Paiute Springs' only hotel. Marshal Lila Kimsey then took the prisoner around through the back door of the jail and escorted him the long way around town to the trial. She sent her deputy, Ethan Jennings, to check out the gunman.

When the Marshal and her prisoner made it to the corner of Main Street and Church Street, they were exposed for only about half a minute—but it was half a minute too long for Dr. Henley. A shot rang out from down the street and Dr. Henley was shot in the head, blowing the back of his skull out in a spray of blood and gore. The Marshal she tried to take cover and started running for the Prince Royal.

Meanwhile, Miss Keeler did not remain idle. She ran for the Prince Royal as well. She climbed up on Mercantile building and made to jump across the rooftops to the Prince Royal in pursuit of the gunman. She was, unfortunately, stymied by the height of the Prince Royal and fell into the alley. All of this in a dress and bustle! Truly a sight to behold, friends, and a reminder not to cross the formidable Miss Keeler.

Marshal Kimsey made her way on the ground to the Prince Royal and met the gunman as he ran behind hotel on his way to Swain Street. Lila shot the man in the arm—which seemed to knock the fight out of him, because he fell.

Once the assassin was apprehended, Marshal Kisey and Miss Keeler climbed up to the roof of the Prince Royal to find Deputy Jennings' body. He had apparently been beaten pretty bad by the butt of the assassin's rifle. Doc Fabry indicated that he probably died of internal bleeding.

Without a defendant, the trial was declared moot. Now we might never know who put the mad doctor up to the hoax or if he was working independently. Regardless, the Judge was determined to hear a trial, so he set one for 2:00 o'clock for the assassin.

More to come, friends.

Henley Assassin Tried and Convicted

by Oliver Milhouse

One Jace Chalmers of Pioche, Nevada, was apprehended on Wednesday, August 16th, by force by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey after allegedly assassinating hoax suspect Dr. Barnabas Henley and then beating Deputy Ethan Jennings to death in the course of his getaway.

Chalmers was tried later that afternoon by circuit Judge Bradford Perryman. In the course of the trial, Judge Perryman indicated that leniency may be called for if the man cooperated and testified as to who hired him to kill Henley. The death penalty was in order, but perhaps they could execute the assassin in a more humane way than hanging. Chalmers complied, naming one Conrad Stoles of Pioche as the man who hired him. Judge Perryman then found the assassin guilty of the two murders and sentenced him to hanging, regardless of his earlier remarks.

Chalmers was outraged and tried to rush the Judge's desk, but was restrained by Marshal Kimsey and Lionel Putnam, selected to act as her second, with the loss of her deputy.

Marshal Kimsey assures me that Sheriff Brody Yates in Pioche will be notified and that she will work in cooperation with the Sheriff to secure this Conrad Stoles.

The execution of Chalmers occurred later that afternoon.

Strange Case of a Pocket Watch

by Oliver Milhouse

One Carlton Hayes, late of Atlanta, Georgia, has been apprehended by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and her posse. He is being held on charges of larceny, with the further complication that he stole from a widow.

According to Mamie McDaniel, our local boarding house proprietor, the man broke into her home and took a pocket watch that belonged to her late husband, Owen. He then vamoosed out town. McDaniel fetched the Marshal, who gathered a posse, and went into the desert in pursuit.

But the story is far more complicated than a simple burglary.

According to Mamie, Hayes had confronted her earlier in the day on August 14th about the watch. Hayes claimed that Owen McDaniel had won the pocket watch off of him in Denver, in 1862. As Owen had passed on, he wanted to reclaim "his" property. The watch—a beautiful timepiece with 13 numbers on the face—was a family heirloom and he wanted it back.

Mamie, indignant, stated that she's sure her Owen won the watch fair-and-square and that it was a dear reminder of her husband that she would not be parting with.

This argument seems to have precipitated the theft.

The posse chased Hayes overnight and finally caught up to him about twenty miles outside of town as he rested himself and his horse. The man apparently put up a fight—and gave Marshal Kimsey a wicked cut across the face—but was eventually subdued and brought to heel in the Town Jail.

Later that afternoon of the 15th, Hayes attempted to escape. He somehow got ahold of the jail keys from across the room, subdued Deputy Ethan Jennings, and made his way outside. Good citizens Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre reapprehended the thief and returned him to the jail. Hayes was then placed in manacles for the remainder of his stay.

Hayes was slated to be tried by Judge Bradford Perryman on Wednesday, August 16th.

Hayes Trial Postponed

by Oliver Milhouse

Judge Bradford Perryman set a trial time for August 16th at 4:00 o'clock for theft suspect, Carlton Hayes of Atlanta, Georgia. Hayes insisted he be allowed to secure legal counsel. Judge Perryman, visibly angry, postponed the trial until his next visit, giving Hayes one week to secure and consult with an attorney.

Hayes was denied bail and continues to be held in the town jail.

Jennings Funeral Well-Attended

by Oliver Milhouse

The funeral for fallen Town Deputy Ethan Jennings on August 19th was a well-attended affair at the Paiute Springs Church, Reverend Timothy Gage, presiding. Hymns were sung by the congregation, followed by a short, but heart-felt eulogy by Marshal Lila Kimsey. Then pallbearers Kimsey, David Allan, Lionel Putnam, Mayor J. P. Jefferson, Doc Fabry, and Eustace Wilhelm guided the casket out to the cemetery and Reverend Gage said a prayer as the casket was lowered into the grave.

Jennings had only been deputy in Paiute Springs for a few weeks. Prior to that, he rode "shotgun" for the Old Barcelona stage line. Nevertheless, he was well-liked in town and will be missed.

Railway Fighting Escalates

—Wire Service

After a relatively quiet summer, fighting between the various railroad concerns has escalated of late. Ever since the Union Blue line secured an exclusive right to run supplies to Fort 51 in Nevada, the other lines (with one notable exception) have begun harrying Union Blue trains as far east as Colorado and as far south as the northern-based line runs.

Former Union General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, head of Union Blue, has fought a wily guerrilla war against his rivals. He's placed troops on supply trains, sent decoy trains full of troops out ahead of the actual runs, drawing the fire of his rivals.  Fighting was especially heavily west of Denver. Chamberlain also made a dubious alliance with Mina Devlin of the Black River Line, allowing his trains to pass through her territory in peace.

Not standing idle, Dr. Darius Hellstromme with his Wasatch Line began taking the fight to all of his rivals, including Union Blue. His troops had many successes, but became overeager and escalated the fight further by attacking Union Blue trains indiscriminately. The others, operating out of their usual zones, were more cautious. Wasatch become brazen in its attempts to wipe out Union Blue. This culminated in a tragic attack on a passenger train traveling to Virginia City, Nevada. Over 20 civilians were killed as automatons let loose with their Gatlings on the crowded train.

The public outcry was immediate and a U. S. Marshal with a posse were deployed to take the leaders of the Wasatch raid. Hellstromme's troops refused to be taken and the Marshal and his posse all ended up residing in pine boxes.

Then, adding insult to injury, while a Union Blue train was delayed by mechanical issues, and a Denver Pacific train was routed past it, the DP train ran into a Wasatch ambush. The leader of the Wasatch troops failed to require his men to identify the train and simply order them to open fire. The locomotive was destroyed, the train derailed, and the entire contents of the train were raided. This included a good many expensive gadgets from the Smith & Robards company.  

This action brought the Denver Pacific line into the fracas. Sir Clifton Robards ordered retaliation. Signs were posted along the line that trespassers on DP property would be shot. An elite squad of a dozen ornithopters was formed to patrol the passes and attack any troops seen there. They would attack with force and without warning.  While less successful in tree-covered Colorado than in flat and open Iowa, the S&R aerial assault continues.

Then Iron Dragon's Kang ordered his troops to jump into the middle of the conflict—for no apparent reason other than to spread chaos. However, a report by the Tombstone Epitaph alleges that Kang may have lost something of his in these raids and was using the attacks as cover to recover it.

Regardless, the battle in Colorado is now a seven-way disaster. This "battle of the cauldron" may make or break the so-called "Great Rail Wars"—either bringing them to a close or simply seeding more chaos.

Imperial Saloon Reopens
August 13, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

August 13, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Imperial Saloon Reopens

by Oliver Milhouse

One of the founding, keystone businesses of the community, the Imperial Saloon, has now reopened for business. Emerging from the ashes of the tragic fire that destroyed it, saloon is now better than ever, with new modern fixtures, more glass, and a far less "rustic" feel.

Karl Schmidt, the owner and proprietor of the saloon, is proud of the new-and-improved Imperial. "We had a nice infusion of new capital and I was finally able to do some things I always felt like she needed. She's in great shape and ready to serve up drinks, fellowship, and all the good things the Imperial is known for."

The saloon celebrated on Tuesday night with a "free beer" night and open house.

The Imperial is located on Main Street, across the street from the General Mercantile.

Orphanage Discussed at Town Hall Meeting

by Oliver Milhouse

Our esteemed mayor, J.P. Jefferson, held a public meeting at Town Hall this past Wednesday to discuss town business, prospects for the future, and to generally connect with the growing town population. "Paiute Springs is in great shape, great shape. We're a community to be proud of, to be sure," said Mayor Jefferson. "Sure, there have been some odd happenings going on in the region of late, but we always band together and face adversity as a united township."

The treasury report bears out some of the Mayor's claims. The city is financially sound and thriving. "New businesses are coming in all the time!" Jefferson exclaimed. "They see what I see, that Paiute Springs means opportunity." The population has grown more modestly, but that figure is always in flux, with our itinerent mining population. Violent crime does seem to be up, as are incidents of violence within the township. We've reported on the various shootings taking place and the consequences taken of such actions many times in the Sentinel. Nevertheless, the Mayor's claims are largely true and well-taken.

Future prospects were discussed. Among them was an orphanage for the care of the children of those lost in the mines, and other such tragedies. These children currently "run like heathens through our streets," Jefferson claimed. "They need the love, guidance, and Godly correction that parents provide." How the town would pay for such a facility was not discussed. You heard it here first: look for this to become a plank in November's campaign platform.

So far, there have been no contenders to run against Jefferson in the election in November. Any potential opponents should remember to file with Election Committee by September 1, 1876.

"Reaper Hoax" Investigation Continues

by Oliver Milhouse

As reported in our Special Edition earlier in the week, the so-called "camp reaper" has been apprehended and revealed to be a clockwork automaton. What remains is to discover the device's creator and his motivation for terrorizing our mining camp community.  

According to Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, "We've apprehended who did this. We don't know why they done it, though. When I get my evidence together, we'll be having a long talk with this person, from behind bars. And later, on a witness stand under oath. The danger is over—now we got to clean up the mess."

The apprehended hoaxster is one Dr. Barnabas Henley, out of Carson City. He passed himself off as a land surveyor, but was clearly camped out beyond the mining camps, up to no good. Dr. Henley is being held until Judge Bradford Perryman returns from riding circuit.

Sounds like the Marshal is being really careful about building a case around this particular perpetrator. Could they be connected to a prominent citizen? Could they be someone with the wherewithal to fight the case in Judge Perryman's court? Is this caution simply warranted regarding who's REALLY behind these incidents? We'll keep you posted on the ongoing investigation.

Letters to the Editor

Dear Mr. Milhouse,

This town has forgotten Our Lord and will be taken down in a storm of evil!

We have endured the invasion of cannibals, "loonies," and strange folk for parts unknown. We have had godless Confederate spies in our midst. Strange creatures spontaneously appearing in hotel rooms. We've even had rumors of devil worship being performed RIGHT HERE IN PAIUTE SPRINGS!

The end times are approaching quickly. The signs are there but for the sighted to see. Come back to the Lord, my dear town, or we will spiral into despair.

Come to the Paiute Springs Church on Sunday and listen with your heart and your mind as Reverend Gage preaches of the sanctuary we have in the Living God.


—Signed, Marjorie Allan

Dear Marjorie, your concern for the souls of Paiute Springs is well-taken. I, too, have benefited from the wisdom and erudition of our Reverend Gage. However, live not in fear. For not only do we have Our Lord to support us, He has sent us those that would face such travails and with aplomb. Fear makes us support misguided fools and demagogues. I despair more for future generations than for this one.  We will persevere and we will thrive. I have the confidence of knowing people and knowing God. —O.M.

Dear Editor,

Why does no one in this town address the REAL problems that plague this town? We keep talking about cannibals and loonies and Satanists when the REAL problem is the taking over of the mining camps by MEXICANS. What are they doing here and why? Are they spies for Santa Anna? Is Nevada next to fall after California? What are we going to do about the MEXICANS?

—Signed Arvil Jackson

Arvil, I think you express something that not many people think about, largely because there are so few people from Mexico in the mining camps that it is not seen as a problem. As far as your concerns about what they are doing? Probably mining for silver and ghost rock like you. Trying to be part of the community. Sending money back to their families. I would humbly suggest there are bigger problems to think about. — O.M.

Dear Mr. Editor,

I'm scared.

I'm afraid of devil-worshipping, cannibal, loonies coming in to my house and taking my family.

What is happening out there? Why are all these things happening here?

I'm scared.

—Signed, Alice Granger

Alice, I think you express what a lot of people in Paiute Springs are feeling. But rest easier knowing that in times of trouble, this town does band together and deal with threats as they come. And we have among us stellar individuals that stand up, take notice, and DO THINGS to help. —O.M.

President Reviewing Contract with Pinkertons

—Wire Service

President Ulysses S. Grant is said to be reviewing the Government's relationship with the Pinkerton Detective Agency. Top aides indicate that a change is on the horizon in regard to the country's intelligence gathering operations. What has prompted this review is unknown at this time.

Rumors are stirring that the Union will take a more active hand in doing the work that has been outsourced to the Pinkertons. A new agency may emerge to handle domestic threats and gather needed intelligence for the protection of the Nation.

A spokesman from the Pinkerton Agency stated: "Our working relationship with the United States government is as strong as ever. Any rumors to the contrary are simply that—rumors."

A spokesman from President Grant's office was unavailable for comment.

Hoax Revealed! The Camp Reaper is No Spook
August 11, 1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

August 11, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Hoax Revealed! Camp Reaper is No Spook

by Oliver Milhouse

The Sentinel, your source for Truth, has secured an exclusive interview with local scientist Miss Geraldine Keeler regarding her latest discovery on behalf of the populace of Paiute Springs.

There have been rumors of late of a "camp reaper" floating about the mining camps that surround the town. It moans as it floats on a bed of vapor and goes about frightening the miners, who fear that their death has come for them. This illustrious journal reported on these rumors in our previous August 6th edition. Miners were beginning to leave our fair town as a result of the troubles.

Well friends, we've been snookered! Miss Keeler and her boon companion, Roland Dupre, managed to track this "reaper" to its source and have discovered that it is no reaper at all but some sort of "mechanical," an automaton made of steel and with jet contraptions that make it float on ghost rock vapor.

I have seen the device, unveiled and defrocked, with my own eyes, and ladies and gentlemen, it is, indeed, nothing more that steel and clockwork and the work of our own vivid imaginations.

The device has been secured by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and locked in the vault at the Paiute Springs Bank, where whomever has been controlling it can't get to it.

But who is responsible for this hoax? And why would they do it?

Miss Keeler would only say that there was an "ongoing investigation." But Marshal Kimsey revealed a bit more. "The perpetrator of this crime is known to us and we will be questioning him forthwith. In the meantime, let me and my associates do our flippin' jobs," said the Marshal. 

As far as why, the only speculation that Marshal Kimsey would give was that it was to scare miners into giving up their claims. But for what purpose, no one seems to know or want to guess.

So, friends and neighbors, be not afraid! For the reaper has NOT shown himself in our camps—only the old sins of greed and spite.


Town Under Seige!
July 23,1876

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

July 23, 1876
"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

Town Under Siege!

by Oliver Milhouse

A goodly portion of the town of Paiute Springs had to take cover in the Town Hall for four days as the streets were filled with insane marauders during this past week. The siege conditions were for "the safety of the town" claims Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, though the close quarters surely bred rampant disease and other discomforts.

The troubles began can be traced back to the arrival of claim miner, Phineas Johnston, formerly of Pioche. He arrived in Paiute Springs on July 8th and set up his camp on the outskirts of the township proper. That night, the man shoots up the mining camp, killing three men and two women before being subdued and drug into the town jail. We list his victims below so that they won't be forgotten:

  • Dalton Schofield
  • Sheila Scranton
  • Norman Potts
  • Chip Durant
  • Maggie Sutton

Johnston was held in the town jail for three days. According to a report by deputy town marshal Ethan Jennings, on the first day the prisoner as "wild, violent, and mean—a real ornery old cuss. He beat about the cell 'till his hands were bloody. I had to knock him out with a rifle butt 'afore he hurt himself." The next day, Mr. Johnston was "quiet as a churchmouse." On the third day, they found him hanging in the cell by his own suspenders, "deader than a plank."

Meanwhile, other trouble was brewing in our fair town.

While Phineas Johnston sat "quiet as a churchmouse" in his cell, another miner, Lazlo Dupinski, strode boldly into town, walked into the bank, and punched out Bob Lund. Then he shoved poor Petunia Davis into a countertop, breaking her arm, and proceeded to rob the bank, bold as brass. Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and Deputy Jennings arrived to put a stop to it and were forced to shoot Dupinski in the leg to get him to comply with their demands. "Damn fool got stubborn," was all Marshal Kimsey would say on the matter. Dupinski was bandaged up and taken into custody.

Now, friends, is when things start getting interesting.

On the day that Phineas Johnston was found dead in his cell, Marshal Kimsey answered no fewer than five calls regarding local acts of violence. Johnston's place in the cell was quickly replaced by another violent unnamed perpetrator. Then, that afternoon, Marshal Kimsey was forced to apprehend her OWN DEPUTY for shooting up the Imperial Saloon! As the jail was full, she was forced to chain Jennings to the central column of the building.

Frankly, friends, the violence in our town was growing to the point to where it was more than our Marshal could handle on her own. "People were going plumb crazy. My own deputy had gone loco. So I did what anyone would have done. I went to the next level of authority," Marshal Kimsey said by way of explaining herself. She wired the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office in Pioche for help.

That was the day she called for a general evacuation of the town and gathered us all into the Town Hall. Doc Fabry set up an infirmary in the corner of the large building, as he was still treating the gut shot victim Leo Stammer, another townsman fallen to the "loonies."

It was truly a sad day, my friends, when we handed our town over to the "loonies." When our Marshal gave up.

Nevertheless, we gathered together as a community and barricaded ourselves up against the onslaught of senseless violence.

Two days later, on the 17th, as we subsisted on whatever canned goods people had the good sense to bring with them, the posse from Pioche arrived with a deputy sheriff. They lasted about fifteen minutes against the band of loonies that assaulted them from all points. The posse was killed. The deputy was drawn and quartered.

Later than night, the Imperial caught fire. Owner Karl Schmidt and his friend, Willie Huddleston, as well as a couple of "working girls," managed to get out of the building before it collapsed. They took refuge with the rest of us in the Town Hall. Apparently, the loonies set the bar on fire.

Things began to turn around on the morning of the 18th. A stage arrived from nearby Fort 51 with two soldiers and none other than our local gadgeteer Miss Geraldine Keeler and her companion Mr. Roland Dupre.

The soldiers, Mr. Dupre, and Miss Keeler managed to dispatch two of the loonies—Dwight Bolger and Tom Ewing—and make it inside of Town Hall. There they were briefed on the situation by Marshal Kimsey and Doc Fabry.

Not satisfied with the holing up in the middle of town, Miss Keeler formulated a plan to fix the situation. You see, the Marshal and the Doc had observed a few things about these "loonies." And the Doc thought that they were infected by some kind of insect. Miss Keeler decided to try and capture one to find out. Full of spit and vinegar is our Miss Keeler.

She, a Sergeant Milo Philips, and Marshal Kimsey, went into the local mercantile to get supplies and then Miss Keeler fashioned a series of snares with which to trap one of these loonies.

Before they got the snare to work, they managed to catch one of them, though Sgt. Philips, in his zeal, managed to blow the man's leg into uselessness with a Winchester.  They brought him back to Doc Fabry, who used alcohol to remove the bizarre creature from the back of the man's neck. Marshal Kimsey trapped it in a jar.

Other than the leg, Cole Laramy is expected to make a full recovery.

Meanwhile, Miss Keeler got her snare to work. They placed three of them out in Main Street and began catching the "loonies" in earnest. By midday on the 19th, all of the loonies in town had been caught and cured of the strange parasite.

The three intrepid hunters, Miss Keeler, Sgt. Philips, and Marshal Kimsey, went looking for any other parasites lurking about. They found two and dispatched them with bullets. Finally, they went to Phineas Johnston's camp and found, beneath his bed, a strange, narrow, burrow. Putting a stick in it revealed a strange ichorous ooze. They filled in the hole and plugged it up.

The town has been extremely calm, having taken a collective deep breath after the trauma of the past week.

The Sentinel wishes to offer a big "Thank You!" to Miss Geraldine Keeler, Sergeant Milo Philips, and Marshal Lila Kimsey. Without your efforts, our town would surely be no more.

An Unknown Species

by Oliver Milhouse

Your intrepid reporter sat down with Miss Geraldine Keeler, resident scientist and, let's be honest, town hero, to talk about the recent troubles that beset our fair town.

In the course of bringing things back to normalcy in Paiute Springs, it was discovered that the strange behavior of the "loonies" that had taken over the town was due to some kind of creature that had infested their body. Once this creature was discovered and removed, the poor souls were their old selves again. Miss Keeler was on the forefront of eradicating this parasite from the town. This is what she had to say about the creature.

"This 'bug' is actually a previously unknown species of some sort that has found its way to us. It's behavior, parasitic as it was, was it's own form of survival. Perhaps it fed on spinal fluid or some other nutrient only found in human brain matter. It's hard to say. The behavior of the victims was surely a side effect of its actions, not its intent. This was not 'mind control' but simply a newly discovered natural phenomenon. The important thing to remember is that the town banded together to survive. Only united can we stand against such threats."

Words of wisdom from a smart lady. 

A Visit from Sheriff Yates

by Oliver Milhouse

On July 20th, our town received a visit from Sheriff Brody Yates of Lincoln County. He brought a posse of 10 men with him in search of his missing deputy. He met with Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and Mayor J.P. Jefferson at a private meeting in the Prince Royal Arms Hotel.

"We sat down with the Sheriff and broke the news about his deputy as gently as we could," Marshal Kimsey reported. "But as we had no suspects for who perpetrated the crime, and our explanation for the violence was unsatisfactory in his eyes, he was quite upset. Pissed off, even."

According to Mayor Jefferson, "The man came unhinged. He threatened to gather a posse big enough to take the whole 'damn lying town'. I managed to talk him down from that course of action, but he just wouldn't believe us about the creatures. That was one bridge too many."

Sheriff Yates was not available for comment directly to the Sentinel. He and his posse rode out of town like the Furies of old in a cloud of dust and indignation.

Local Inventor Wins Honors

by Oliver Milhouse

Our very own tinkerer, Miss Geraldine Keeler, brought home kudos from the First Annual Smith & Robards' Grand Exposition in Salt Lake City! Displayed proudly in her home is her certificate for "Best in Division: Engineering" regarding her project entitled "Demonstration of Surveying Pods for Intake, Detection, and Retrieval."

Also, according to a story from the Deseret News, Miss Keeler was the recipient of a special "Distinguished Service" award at the Expo for her exemplary behavior during some troubles they experienced during the event.

Congratulations Miss Keeler!  Your town is proud of you!

Lee Accepts Whig Nomination

—Wire Service

Retired General Robert E. Lee has accepted the nomination of the re-constituted Whig party to run for President of the Confederate States of America (CSA). The general, who retired in 1870 to run the Dixie Rails company, accepted the nomination by letter, which was read at the convention of the Whigs on July 12, 1876 in Memphis, Tennessee. "I am honored and humbled by this nomination and accept this call to service," he said.

The Whigs have been putting the 70 year old Lee forward as their nominee for some time. He is a favorite among the various veterans of the War and many of the populace. However, concerns about his age and his health have dogged him in recent months. The elderly general has already suffered one near-fatal heart attack and his more partisan detractors often point out that it is only a matter of time before he suffers another.

President Jefferson Davis issued no comment at this time.

Tilden Shouted Down in Pennsylvania

—Wire Service

Democratic presidential-nominee Samuel Tilden, the Governor of New York, was shouted down by Union veterans groups at a speaking engagement in Philadelphia this week as he travels the Union in search of votes against the incumbent, President Ulysses S. Grant.

This was not the first time for such an occurrence. Tilden, who is running on a platform of a "peace movement," has been dogged by displays such as this and has struggled to get his message out. Many of his supporters are intimidated by the displays of wounded veterans that frequently heckle his events.

Unless Tilden can address these issues, his campaign may be dead in the water.

Schmidt Seeks Partner to Re-Open Imperial

by Oliver Milhouse

Local businessman Karl Schmidt is seeking an investment partner to help him re-build and re-open the Imperial Saloon. "Oh, she'll re-open. It's just a matter of whether or not I'll be in debt up to my eyeballs or not," Karl says.

The original Imperial, Paiute Springs' only saloon, burned down in the recent troubles with the "loonies," as detailed in this noble publication.

Interested parties can contact Karl at the Higginbotham Boarding House on Main Street.