The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

A Night of Infamy

by Oliver Milhouse

The night of December 15, 1876 will live long in the hearts and minds of the good people of Paiute Springs, Nevada. It was on this night that lives were sacrificed in the defense of our good town in the face of the darkest of evils.

The night was cold. Clouds rolled in quickly and a light snow began to fall around sundown. But this was no ordinary winter storm, for there was an eldritch green glow playing out in the clouds that gathered over the town. People bundled up and hurried to their homes as the sun sank behind the mountains.

It began about an hour after the sun went down. A lone rider thundered down Main Street and stopped in front of the Imperial Saloon, yelling through a hoarse throat, "Come on Paiute Springs! Time to join the party!" According to reports, reports verified by the principles after the event, this was Whiskey Jack O'Donnell—the very same outlaw that terrorized our town, and our Reverend, nearly a year ago. After a brief gun fight with patrons within the Imperial, namely our spitfire Miss Geraldine Keeler and her companion, Mr. Roland Dupre, Whiskey Jack was laid low in the street. 

He was but the opening salvo of a full-on assault of our township by the forces of darkness. The walking dead, dozens of them, began shuffling through the streets and attempting to eat the very flesh off of our bones. Spirits flitted from roof to roof, bringing abject terror with them wherever they touched down. And through it all, at the end of Main Street, stood a lone man in a black duster and matching broad-brimmed hat. He stood without a care in the world, almost as waiting for something—or someone. The menace that emanated from this man was palpable and it was clear he was one hombre with whom one should not trifle.

Townsfolk throughout Paiute Springs defended their homes with honor, fighting off the walking dead with their guns. Some discovered that they would rise again lest one finally injured the creature in the head—so some accurate shooting was indeed needed to finally defeat the menace. 

The new church bell rang as a beacon to call the town to the church as a place of safety. There, Reverend Gage and Doc Fabry ministered to the folks as was their calling. Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre, along with Mr. David Allan, rescued the Putnam family and our launderer, Han Lau, and escorted them to the church. Along the way, they encountered a local man being accosted by the walking dead—they destroyed the creatures but, alas, they could not save Jakob Braun.

Miss Keeler had come upon a scientific method to dispatch the more ethereal of the assailants to the church—regular bullets or knives would only pass through the spirits. However, she discovered that bullets treated with ghost rock could, in fact, be quite effective. She and Mr. Dupre, who also loaded his weapon with this spectral shot, managed to dispatch the spirits—though Mr. Dupre fell in the fighting, preternaturally scared into a heart attack by the foul creatures. In fact, our own Town Marshal, Lila Kimsey, faced off with one of the creatures and came away with a shock of whitened hair.

After the most of the dead had been vanquished, a stern Miss Keeler, accompanied by our own Mayor-Elect Lionel Putnam, stalked down Main Street to a showdown with who the locals now term The Man in Black. I witnessed this extraordinary exchange and am still in awe of the tenacity in the face of such eldritch evil displayed by Miss Keeler and Mayor Putnam. 

Geraldine advanced on man, never blinking, and raised her gun with ghost rock shot and fired—but the Man in Black cloaked himself in shadows and provided not much of a target. Mr. Putnam advanced and fired one barrel of his shotgun toward the man, but, God help him, his hands were shaking so bad it was hard for the stalwart smith to fire straight.  

The Man in Black moved his hand and swarm of eldritch green bolts flew forth, like unholy wasps, and hit Miss Keeler in the gut—but, surprisingly, they did little harm to her. Her duster seemed to repel the bolts nicely. She fired again—the nearly took the Man in Black off his feet as the ghost rock bullet exploded in the man's gut. Still, she marched implacably on and the Man in Black stood his ground. 

Mr. Putnam continued to fire, but to no avail against his shadowy, and frightening, foe. The Man in Black seemed to be toying with Miss Keeler and drew a gleaming Bowie knife from within his duster as he taunted her. The two began a dance of death—Miss Keeler firing at point-blank ranger at the shadow-covered Man while the Man in Black's blade darted out and to cut her. She danced out of the way and turned her duster to protect herself from the onslaught.

Finally, she looked up to see a fourth person enter the duel. This harrowing apparition of a man, with his gaunt, skeletal features and grim face, was a stranger to me. But he lowered a pistol and shot the Man in Black in the back. The Man turned, snarling and unleashed his bolts of doom. They struck the newcomer in the gut and laid him flat on his back, unmoving. The Man in Black turned his attention back to Miss Keeler—which was a mistake. 

Mayor Putnam reloaded his double-barrel and fired into the Man in Black, filling his guts full of shot. The shotgun blew a hole clean through the Man. For his part, the Man in Black looked down at his wounds, almost unbelieving and murmured "It's been so long…" He fell to the ground, dead at last. 

But just to be sure, because times have told us in Paiute Springs that final death is all but certain, she put two more of the ghost rock bullets into the man's skull, exploding it all over her feet.

The walking dead were all dispatched and today the cleaning begins. A cart with five bodies was found just outside of town. According to Miss Keeler, these are likely the corpses of the spirits—she termed them "specters"—that were flitting about town. The corpses have all been hauled to the outskirts of town and burned upon a pyre—-except for the young man that came out to help Miss Keeler in her final showdown. He was taken into the jail by Marshal Kimsey and nursed to health.

This young man, who is apparently our own former deputy, Ethan Jennings, has apparently been afflicted with this "harrowing" that has plagued our lands of late. He has died—but not passed on. But, in light of current events, it is clear that he still considers us all friends. Only time will tell if darkness will overtake him—but, then again, is that not also true of us all?

Funerals will soon begin for the fallen. The town will renew itself—but it must take time to grieve its losses and learn from them. A new year will soon begin and the town will walk into it more somber, more seasoned, and, I pray, more hopeful. 

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Shootout on Main Street

by Oliver Milhouse

This past Friday, around noon, Paiute Springs saw one of the most deadly altercations in its short history play out on the main street of town. 

Local gambler and raconteur, Roland Dupre, and his lady-friend and local scientist, Miss Geraldine Keeler, were strolling down the street with a purpose. According to Sheriff Lila Kimsey, the two were on their way to a meeting with Reverend Timothy Gage, patriarch of  our local church. 

Along the way, the three were accosted to by three men in the employ of recently-prominent citizen, George Johnson. These men, later identified as "the Clay Brothers" (Jimmy, Lazarus "Lash", and Chance), surrounded the two erstwhile citizens in the street and began, according to the testimony of Sheriff Kimsey "verbally accosting" the pair in an intimidating manner. 

While folks gathered in along the street to watch the altercation, Miss Keeler announced that she didn't have to answer the questions of "Jimmy Clay and his Harrowed brothers." Now, with the recent troubles in our fair town, the word "harrowed" takes on a very ominous meaning—it is whispered in certain quarters that another bad-man who had visited our town earlier in the year, Whisky Jack O'Donnell, was "harrowed"—a term that, as near as can be ascertained, indicates that the person in question should be joining the choir ephemeral and not walking about accosting folks in the streets. In fact, some folks think that our own former deputy, Ethan Jennings, who was fatally wounded in a firefight here in town, is, in fact, one of these "harrowed" men.  

Miss Keeler also pronounced their employer, Mr. Johnson, an "evil boss."

At any rate, our firebrand Miss Keeler was not impressed with the Clay Brothers. The man in question, ostensibly Jimmy Clay, indicated that she and her man should clear the street and return property not belonging to them to Mr. Johnson (it should be noted that Miss Keeler was carrying a large valise at the time). However, Mr. Clay used a term not to the liking of either Miss Keeler or Mr. Dupre in reference to Mr. Dupre's skin tone. 

Quick as a viper after a cup of coffee, Mr. Dupre's gun was out and four shots were fired into Jimmy Clay's head. As was the want of the Clay Brothers, Jimmy Clay was wearing a white porcelain mask to hide his features. This mask parted in twain and slipped off the face of Jimmy Clay after the first shot, revealing what is reported to be a horror. His face was gaunt, sallow, and yellowed like old paper. Lips were peeled back to reveal rotten teeth. Glassy, blue eyes gazed out and met Mr. Dupre's steely stare. Despite Dupre's four well-placed shots, the man did not fall. In fact, one of the holes STARTED CLOSING AROUND THE WOUND! 

This opened the floodgates of gunfire. Lash Clay drew two Peacemakers and commenced to firing into Mr. Dupre multiple times. Chance fired on Miss Keeler, who also drew a weapon and fired, to no avail. Sheriff Kimsey joined the fray from a distance with her Winchester, but by then it was too late—Mr. Dupre and Miss Keeler fell prone into the street. 

Suddenly, more gunfire erupted from upper-floor of the Mercantile Store and from the alleyway nearby. Lionel Putnam, of the smithy and livery stable, and his two sons, both fired into the street at the Clay Brothers from the alley. From the Mercantile, David Allan's shotgun shells exploded into the fray. All of them meant business—they aimed, and hit, the Clay Brothers in the head with an explosion of brain, bone, and blood. 

An eerie silence fell over the street. Some say a strange shadow fell over the scene and then flitted away, out of town. It's hard to say—it was a cloudy day. But, at the time of this reporting, the valise that Miss Keeler was carrying is still missing.

Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre were rushed into the office of Doc Fabry, who purported to do all he could for them. Reverend Gage followed to give them peace, should the occasion require it. 

At this time, Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre are doing fine—Doc Fabry said it was the damnedest thing he ever saw and swore that he would be attending the new church more often, once the work is finished. Reverend Gage attributed their speedy recovery to "the will of the Almighty."

Mr. George Johnson is currently missing and unaccounted for. His two house servants, Magda and Hans Eisensee, are as mystified about the disappearance of their employer as the rest of the town. 

Sheriff Kimsey states that, should he return, Mr. Johnson will be considered a person of interest in a unnamed conspiracy against the town. She refused to go into more detail about the case. 

The bodies of the Clay Brothers, which, according to a report from the Arizona Daily Star from August, 1875, died in a gunfight with Texas Rangers outside of Yuma and were buried on "Boot Hill," were burned in a funeral bonfire outside of the town proper. There, words were said by Reverend Gage over the bodies, as well as the following:

"We find ourselves in the time of great miracles, and a time of great horrors. It seems our little town has been visited by more horrors than miracles of late. But we now find ourselves under siege by the forces of Evil. It is time to band together, under the Sword of God, to protect ourselves from the depredations of evil men—and whatever else awaits us in the darkness."

Jefferson to Step Down as Mayor

by Oliver Milhouse

John Paul "J. P." Jefferson,  longtime mayor of Paiute Springs and owner of the Prince Royal Hotel, has announced that effective on January 1, 1877, he will be resigning from the office of Mayor of Paiute Springs. Citing "recent stresses and a desire to see democracy in action," Jefferson will be leaving the post after being elected three times into the position by the citizens of our town. 

Jefferson's resignation forces the town to call a special election for a successor. According to Clyde Stevenson, Chair of the hastily established Election Committee, the election will be held on Tuesday, December 5, 1876. 

All eligible males are encouraged to vote. Nominations for candidates can be submitted to Mr, Stevenson at the Land Assessor's office in the Braun building on Swain Street. 

Keeler Receives Prestigious Award

by Oliver Milhouse

Our local eccentric scientist, Miss Geraldine Keeler, recently attended the Annual Meeting of the Great Basin Scientific Society in Virginia City, presenting her paper, "Looking to the Future: Ethics and Science in the New Age." While there, she was presented by the Society's Distinguished Service Award for her actions during an altercation at the Smith & Robards' Grand Expostion in Salt Lake City, Utah (Deseret) earlier in the year. 

The Distinguished Service Award of the Great Basin Scientific Society is bestowed upon individuals who have been recognized as having supported the Society through service exceeding any normal expectation.  Award recipients have been recognized by the Officers, and acknowledged through awards made at the annual Society meeting. 

The Officers may select and honor one Academy member each year for his or her outstanding service to The Society. 

Daniel and Crosby to Wed

by Oliver Milhouse

Congratulations are in order for Mr. Bartholomew Daniel and Miss Priscilla Crosby. The two plan to wed in a small ceremony, "just as soon as that wandering Judge gets back." Judge Perryman, the judge who serves the Paiute Springs area, is currently riding circuit and is due to return within a week. 

Mr. Daniel is self-employed as an independent miner with a small stake in silver. Miss Crosby is the daughter of the late Horace Crosby and his widow, Heloise. They have a small home on Camp Road where Heloise performs a great deal of mending for the folks in town. 

Grant to Release Pinkertons

From the United States Wire Service

In a statement released today from Washington, President Ulysses S. Grant announced that, beginning on January 1, 1877, the contract between the United States government and the Pinkerton Detective Agency will expire. The contract will not be renewed.

Pinkerton agents have been used extensively in recent years to gather intelligence, enforce ordinances and laws, and help the scattered U.S. Marshal service keep the peace on the frontier. 

"The agents of the Pinkerton Agency have served this country well. But it has always been a relationship based on the inability of this government to address certain concerns that, frankly, lie within its own purview, not those of the Pinkertons. My administration is now in a position to take care of this business in a manner which is prudent and necessary," President Grant said.

Boyce Wallington, a Democratic congressman from Illinois, expressed concern at the development. "What does this administration have in store for us, now that the Pinkertons are no longer involved? Sure, they were independent contractors, but at least there was some oversight. There has been no information forthcoming from Grant or his administration about how these 'concerns' will now be handled. That's a problem."

Officials at the Pinkerton Agency have issued no public comment on the development.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Large Coyote Menaces Town

by Oliver Milhouse

Citizens all over our Main Street have reported seeing a large coyote prowling about in broad daylight earlier in the week. The creature, reputed to be a huge specimen of the species, was seen on the street by several walkers-by and even managed to menace Mrs. Marjorie Allan at the General Mercantile.

"The thing was huge! Big as a small man. And ornery, too. I swear it winked at me as it knocked goods about in my store!"

Drew Goodall, a silver miner from the nearby camp town, confirmed the sighting. "Oh, yeah. I saw it alright. Walked upright on its hind legs like a prancing pony. Probably what made it seem so big. Yipped it's way down the street and out of town. That gambler fellow, Dupre, took a shot at it and run it off. It was menacing that Miss Keeler he shacks up with."

The coyote was seen on Monday afternoon, but has not been seen since.

War Protests Grow In the East

—Wire Service

As the War rages ever onward, the unpopularity of the conflict, and its presiding officer in President Grant, is reaching an all-time high. Protests from young people are growing especially vociferous, as they feel most affect by the, as they see it, Draconian draft laws necessary to continue the Union war effort.

To add further fuel to the fire, the situation in Canada has been allowed to fester into a confrontation with the British Empire. Ever since the election scandal of 1872, in which an attempt by Confederate Secret Service agents to falsify vote counts in the U.S. Presidential election was thwarted and their base of operations was discovered to be Canada, relations have been hot. About 15,000 men are currently spread from Maine to Minnesota to protect the border against both incursion and desertion of disloyal Union men who wish to avoid the draft. His Majesty's government has sent troops to both Canada and the Confederacy, escalating the situation.

The President's ability to maintain both a war against the Confederacy and against Canada, both with the aid of the British Empire behind them, is highly doubtful by most quarters. While none of these nations seems likely to benefit from a direct military confrontation, history attests that men and nations do not act by reason alone.

Arachne's Circle To Meet on Sunday

—by Oliver Milhouse

The gathering of unattached females that calls itself "Arachne's Circle" will meet this Sunday at Mamie McDaniel's boarding house at 3:00 pm for tea, fellowship, and literature. They are currently reading Miss Emily Brontë's novel, "Wuthering Heights." The gathering is open to any lady in town who wishes to join them.

Death Toll Rises in the Cauldron

—Wire Service

The so-called "Great Rail War" continues to escalate in the canyons west of Denver in Colorado. All of the principles have increased their security forces in region and continue to fight at the slightest provocation. Reports indicate that "bodies are being stacked like cordwood."

Travel along the rails from the East to the West continues to be a perilous proposition. Travelers seeking passage along those routes are advised to traverse via wagon, coach, or a more roundabout route.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, My old hound, Roscoe, has got fleas something fierce. Do you have any advice for me to get rid of these varmints? — J.

Dear J., Poor old hound! A good dousing in apple cider vinegar should do the trick for poor, old, Roscoe. I do hope he gets some relief soon! — Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I've developed a cold sore on my mouth that is unsightly and unwelcome. I can not seem to part with it. What would you recommend to someone in my position? — W.

Dear W., Cold sores are always an unwelcome guest. Try rubbing the sore periodically with vanilla oil or vanilla extract. It may take a bit, but in the end, you should have some respite. It also has a pleasant taste, which is also a blessing. — Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I'm sending a letter to that Jackass in Carson City what calls hisself a Governor. I want to make sure my letter gets a proper hearing. How should I address it to make sure they don't just crumple it up and throw it out with the refuse? — B.

Dear B., Well, you certainly don't want to address your letter to "That Jackass." The proper form of address for a sitting governor is "Dear Governor" followed by the honored gentleman's surname. On the envelope, you'll want to address it to "The Honorable Lewis R. Bradley, Governor of Nevada," followed by the address of the gentleman's estate. Hopefully, Mr. Bradley will take what you have to say with due consideration. — Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Hayes Trial Concluded, Sentence Set

by Oliver Milhouse

Circuit Judge Bradford Perryman returned to Paiute Springs to conclude the trial of Carlton Hayes, late of Atlanta, Georgia. Hayes was accused of the theft of an heirloom pocket watch from the widow, Mamie McDaniel. He attained legal counsel from Virginia City and Perryman stated that the trial would commence on August 24th.

Testifying and representing the State of Nevada and the City of Paiute Springs was Town Marshal Lila Kimsey. Marshal Kimsey testified as to her part in the events that led to Hayes' capture, including the fight that ensued and resulted in Hayes giving her a nasty cut across the face. Incidental testimony was given by Miss Geraldine Keeler, Mr. Roland Dupre, Mr. Lionel Putnam, and Mr. Eustace Wilhelm as members of the posse. Finally, the Widow McDaniel spoke of her husband's love of that watch and how it reminded her of her late husband's memory.

On the defense was Mr. Sylvester Fiorello, Esq. of Virginia City, representing Mr. Hayes. The defense centered on the "fact" that the watch was a family heirloom of the Hayes family. Further, how can Mr. Hayes steal something that belongs to him? This isn't theft but recovery of his own property. Any reasonable jury would find the case as being such.

Unfortunately, Judge Perryman did not conduct a jury search—he merely pointed out a dozen citizens and told them they were the jury and to listen to the case closely. It was also clear to several of the jury members we interviewed that if they come to the "right" decision, Judge Perryman would sequester them until they did.

It took about an hour for the jury to find in favor of the State, convicting Hayes of larceny, with the added complication in that it was from a widow. Judge Perryman sentenced the gambler and thief to 20 years imprisonment, to be served at the Nevada State Penitentiary in Carson City.

The harsh sentence sent a shockwave through the courtroom, but anyone that has followed Judge Perryman's exploits (such as The Sentinel) should not be surprised.

Mr. Fiorello promised an appeal and would comment no more on the subject.

Hayes was remanded to the Town Jail until retrieved by the prison stage. As Hayes already escaped from the Town Jail once, Marshal Kimsey gathered a watch from the citizenry comprised of Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre. According to Mr. Dupre, "Hayes got a little froggy one morning, but Geraldine put him in his place."

Hayes is expected to be picked up by a prison stage this Sunday morning.

Apparition of Late Deputy Seen About Town

by Oliver Milhouse

Several witnesses have reported seeing the shade of late deputy Ethan Jennings walking about town. He was also seen conversing with Miss Geraldine Keeler on Main Street on the night of the 22nd. Miss Keeler has made no public comment on the subject.

All witnesses swear that they saw the partially decayed and bloated corpse of Ethan Jennings, buried just this week past, walking about. He was even still in the church clothes that he was buried in.

So far the apparition has caused no harm and the citizens are safe—for now.

NOTICE OF PROPERTY TRANSFER

Property tract 594729, Lot 243 of Group 2 in unincorporated Lincoln County (aka the Rawlins cabin). The property transferred hands on August 26th, from the care of Abraham Rawlins, (lately of Pioche), to that of Miss Geraldine Keeler of Paiute Springs. This transfer was enacted through, and witnessed by, the office of Clyde Stevenson, Land Assessor.

Local Indians Gather for Tribal Talks

by Oliver Milhouse

Local members of the Paiute tribe gathered in Town Hall on Saturday night for a tribal meeting. This closed-door meeting lasted some two hours. Members from the press were denied entry to the meeting. Abigail "Walks with Horses," young assistant to our own Doc Fabry, stated that the meeting was a "Indian matter and of no concern to you." Mayor J. P. Jefferson, who allowed the use of the hall for the meeting, shed no more light on it. "I don't know, Orville. It's Injun stuff. They paid their rent like anybody else."

Pranksters Set off Fireworks in Outhouse

by Oliver Milhouse

Unknown local pranksters set off a string of firecrackers in the outhouse behind the General Mercantile and Town Hall. Local citizen Robert Earl Hickman was inside at the time and made a mess of himself. No one was hurt. No one has claimed responsibility.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, My poor husband suffers from the gout something fierce. Is there anything I can do to relieve his pain?—K.

Dear K., I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Gout is a powerfully painful affliction to have. Have your husband try two teaspoons of apple cider vinegar and two teaspoons of honey in a glass of water every day. That should clear it up within a few days. —Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I love you so much! Can you come my tent and I'll make you an honest woman?—P.

Dear P. I can't think of anything I'd rather do. But I've got letters to answer and no time for such frivolity. And I'm already as honest as the day is long. —Yours, Aunt Sally.   

Dear Aunt Sally, My wife thinks I suffer from gout, but the truth is I'd rather not do my chores. I feel awful guilty it about it now, but how do I come back from that? —D.

Well, D., you've got two choices as I see them. One, come clean and take your well-earned lumps. Two, drink about two gallons of apple cider vinegar and have a miraculous recovery. Either way, your fate is in God's hands now. —Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Pre-Trial Mayhem! Defendant Assassinated, Deputy Killed

by Oliver Milhouse

On Wednesday, August 16th, Judge Bradford Perryman returned after riding circuit throughout the county. He arranged to hear the trial of one Dr. Barnabas Henley, perpetrator of the "camp reaper" hoax (reported thoroughly in this journal). Judge Perryman arrived around 10 o'clock that morning and set the trial to begin at noon.

That morning, around 11:45 a.m., Dr. Henley, the defendant, was to be escorted to the Town Hall from the jail across the street. However, eagle-eyed citizen Miss Geraldine Keeler warned the Town Marshal that she spotted what she thought was a gunman on top of the Prince Royal Arms, Paiute Springs' only hotel. Marshal Lila Kimsey then took the prisoner around through the back door of the jail and escorted him the long way around town to the trial. She sent her deputy, Ethan Jennings, to check out the gunman.

When the Marshal and her prisoner made it to the corner of Main Street and Church Street, they were exposed for only about half a minute—but it was half a minute too long for Dr. Henley. A shot rang out from down the street and Dr. Henley was shot in the head, blowing the back of his skull out in a spray of blood and gore. The Marshal she tried to take cover and started running for the Prince Royal.

Meanwhile, Miss Keeler did not remain idle. She ran for the Prince Royal as well. She climbed up on Mercantile building and made to jump across the rooftops to the Prince Royal in pursuit of the gunman. She was, unfortunately, stymied by the height of the Prince Royal and fell into the alley. All of this in a dress and bustle! Truly a sight to behold, friends, and a reminder not to cross the formidable Miss Keeler.

Marshal Kimsey made her way on the ground to the Prince Royal and met the gunman as he ran behind hotel on his way to Swain Street. Lila shot the man in the arm—which seemed to knock the fight out of him, because he fell.

Once the assassin was apprehended, Marshal Kisey and Miss Keeler climbed up to the roof of the Prince Royal to find Deputy Jennings' body. He had apparently been beaten pretty bad by the butt of the assassin's rifle. Doc Fabry indicated that he probably died of internal bleeding.

Without a defendant, the trial was declared moot. Now we might never know who put the mad doctor up to the hoax or if he was working independently. Regardless, the Judge was determined to hear a trial, so he set one for 2:00 o'clock for the assassin.

More to come, friends.

Henley Assassin Tried and Convicted

by Oliver Milhouse

One Jace Chalmers of Pioche, Nevada, was apprehended on Wednesday, August 16th, by force by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey after allegedly assassinating hoax suspect Dr. Barnabas Henley and then beating Deputy Ethan Jennings to death in the course of his getaway.

Chalmers was tried later that afternoon by circuit Judge Bradford Perryman. In the course of the trial, Judge Perryman indicated that leniency may be called for if the man cooperated and testified as to who hired him to kill Henley. The death penalty was in order, but perhaps they could execute the assassin in a more humane way than hanging. Chalmers complied, naming one Conrad Stoles of Pioche as the man who hired him. Judge Perryman then found the assassin guilty of the two murders and sentenced him to hanging, regardless of his earlier remarks.

Chalmers was outraged and tried to rush the Judge's desk, but was restrained by Marshal Kimsey and Lionel Putnam, selected to act as her second, with the loss of her deputy.

Marshal Kimsey assures me that Sheriff Brody Yates in Pioche will be notified and that she will work in cooperation with the Sheriff to secure this Conrad Stoles.

The execution of Chalmers occurred later that afternoon.

Strange Case of a Pocket Watch

by Oliver Milhouse

One Carlton Hayes, late of Atlanta, Georgia, has been apprehended by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and her posse. He is being held on charges of larceny, with the further complication that he stole from a widow.

According to Mamie McDaniel, our local boarding house proprietor, the man broke into her home and took a pocket watch that belonged to her late husband, Owen. He then vamoosed out town. McDaniel fetched the Marshal, who gathered a posse, and went into the desert in pursuit.

But the story is far more complicated than a simple burglary.

According to Mamie, Hayes had confronted her earlier in the day on August 14th about the watch. Hayes claimed that Owen McDaniel had won the pocket watch off of him in Denver, in 1862. As Owen had passed on, he wanted to reclaim "his" property. The watch—a beautiful timepiece with 13 numbers on the face—was a family heirloom and he wanted it back.

Mamie, indignant, stated that she's sure her Owen won the watch fair-and-square and that it was a dear reminder of her husband that she would not be parting with.

This argument seems to have precipitated the theft.

The posse chased Hayes overnight and finally caught up to him about twenty miles outside of town as he rested himself and his horse. The man apparently put up a fight—and gave Marshal Kimsey a wicked cut across the face—but was eventually subdued and brought to heel in the Town Jail.

Later that afternoon of the 15th, Hayes attempted to escape. He somehow got ahold of the jail keys from across the room, subdued Deputy Ethan Jennings, and made his way outside. Good citizens Miss Geraldine Keeler and Mr. Roland Dupre reapprehended the thief and returned him to the jail. Hayes was then placed in manacles for the remainder of his stay.

Hayes was slated to be tried by Judge Bradford Perryman on Wednesday, August 16th.

Hayes Trial Postponed

by Oliver Milhouse

Judge Bradford Perryman set a trial time for August 16th at 4:00 o'clock for theft suspect, Carlton Hayes of Atlanta, Georgia. Hayes insisted he be allowed to secure legal counsel. Judge Perryman, visibly angry, postponed the trial until his next visit, giving Hayes one week to secure and consult with an attorney.

Hayes was denied bail and continues to be held in the town jail.

Jennings Funeral Well-Attended

by Oliver Milhouse

The funeral for fallen Town Deputy Ethan Jennings on August 19th was a well-attended affair at the Paiute Springs Church, Reverend Timothy Gage, presiding. Hymns were sung by the congregation, followed by a short, but heart-felt eulogy by Marshal Lila Kimsey. Then pallbearers Kimsey, David Allan, Lionel Putnam, Mayor J. P. Jefferson, Doc Fabry, and Eustace Wilhelm guided the casket out to the cemetery and Reverend Gage said a prayer as the casket was lowered into the grave.

Jennings had only been deputy in Paiute Springs for a few weeks. Prior to that, he rode "shotgun" for the Old Barcelona stage line. Nevertheless, he was well-liked in town and will be missed.

Railway Fighting Escalates

—Wire Service

After a relatively quiet summer, fighting between the various railroad concerns has escalated of late. Ever since the Union Blue line secured an exclusive right to run supplies to Fort 51 in Nevada, the other lines (with one notable exception) have begun harrying Union Blue trains as far east as Colorado and as far south as the northern-based line runs.

Former Union General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, head of Union Blue, has fought a wily guerrilla war against his rivals. He's placed troops on supply trains, sent decoy trains full of troops out ahead of the actual runs, drawing the fire of his rivals.  Fighting was especially heavily west of Denver. Chamberlain also made a dubious alliance with Mina Devlin of the Black River Line, allowing his trains to pass through her territory in peace.

Not standing idle, Dr. Darius Hellstromme with his Wasatch Line began taking the fight to all of his rivals, including Union Blue. His troops had many successes, but became overeager and escalated the fight further by attacking Union Blue trains indiscriminately. The others, operating out of their usual zones, were more cautious. Wasatch become brazen in its attempts to wipe out Union Blue. This culminated in a tragic attack on a passenger train traveling to Virginia City, Nevada. Over 20 civilians were killed as automatons let loose with their Gatlings on the crowded train.

The public outcry was immediate and a U. S. Marshal with a posse were deployed to take the leaders of the Wasatch raid. Hellstromme's troops refused to be taken and the Marshal and his posse all ended up residing in pine boxes.

Then, adding insult to injury, while a Union Blue train was delayed by mechanical issues, and a Denver Pacific train was routed past it, the DP train ran into a Wasatch ambush. The leader of the Wasatch troops failed to require his men to identify the train and simply order them to open fire. The locomotive was destroyed, the train derailed, and the entire contents of the train were raided. This included a good many expensive gadgets from the Smith & Robards company.  

This action brought the Denver Pacific line into the fracas. Sir Clifton Robards ordered retaliation. Signs were posted along the line that trespassers on DP property would be shot. An elite squad of a dozen ornithopters was formed to patrol the passes and attack any troops seen there. They would attack with force and without warning.  While less successful in tree-covered Colorado than in flat and open Iowa, the S&R aerial assault continues.

Then Iron Dragon's Kang ordered his troops to jump into the middle of the conflict—for no apparent reason other than to spread chaos. However, a report by the Tombstone Epitaph alleges that Kang may have lost something of his in these raids and was using the attacks as cover to recover it.

Regardless, the battle in Colorado is now a seven-way disaster. This "battle of the cauldron" may make or break the so-called "Great Rail Wars"—either bringing them to a close or simply seeding more chaos.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Imperial Saloon Reopens

by Oliver Milhouse

One of the founding, keystone businesses of the community, the Imperial Saloon, has now reopened for business. Emerging from the ashes of the tragic fire that destroyed it, saloon is now better than ever, with new modern fixtures, more glass, and a far less "rustic" feel.

Karl Schmidt, the owner and proprietor of the saloon, is proud of the new-and-improved Imperial. "We had a nice infusion of new capital and I was finally able to do some things I always felt like she needed. She's in great shape and ready to serve up drinks, fellowship, and all the good things the Imperial is known for."

The saloon celebrated on Tuesday night with a "free beer" night and open house.

The Imperial is located on Main Street, across the street from the General Mercantile.

Orphanage Discussed at Town Hall Meeting

by Oliver Milhouse

Our esteemed mayor, J.P. Jefferson, held a public meeting at Town Hall this past Wednesday to discuss town business, prospects for the future, and to generally connect with the growing town population. "Paiute Springs is in great shape, great shape. We're a community to be proud of, to be sure," said Mayor Jefferson. "Sure, there have been some odd happenings going on in the region of late, but we always band together and face adversity as a united township."

The treasury report bears out some of the Mayor's claims. The city is financially sound and thriving. "New businesses are coming in all the time!" Jefferson exclaimed. "They see what I see, that Paiute Springs means opportunity." The population has grown more modestly, but that figure is always in flux, with our itinerent mining population. Violent crime does seem to be up, as are incidents of violence within the township. We've reported on the various shootings taking place and the consequences taken of such actions many times in the Sentinel. Nevertheless, the Mayor's claims are largely true and well-taken.

Future prospects were discussed. Among them was an orphanage for the care of the children of those lost in the mines, and other such tragedies. These children currently "run like heathens through our streets," Jefferson claimed. "They need the love, guidance, and Godly correction that parents provide." How the town would pay for such a facility was not discussed. You heard it here first: look for this to become a plank in November's campaign platform.

So far, there have been no contenders to run against Jefferson in the election in November. Any potential opponents should remember to file with Election Committee by September 1, 1876.

"Reaper Hoax" Investigation Continues

by Oliver Milhouse

As reported in our Special Edition earlier in the week, the so-called "camp reaper" has been apprehended and revealed to be a clockwork automaton. What remains is to discover the device's creator and his motivation for terrorizing our mining camp community.  

According to Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, "We've apprehended who did this. We don't know why they done it, though. When I get my evidence together, we'll be having a long talk with this person, from behind bars. And later, on a witness stand under oath. The danger is over—now we got to clean up the mess."

The apprehended hoaxster is one Dr. Barnabas Henley, out of Carson City. He passed himself off as a land surveyor, but was clearly camped out beyond the mining camps, up to no good. Dr. Henley is being held until Judge Bradford Perryman returns from riding circuit.

Sounds like the Marshal is being really careful about building a case around this particular perpetrator. Could they be connected to a prominent citizen? Could they be someone with the wherewithal to fight the case in Judge Perryman's court? Is this caution simply warranted regarding who's REALLY behind these incidents? We'll keep you posted on the ongoing investigation.

Letters to the Editor

Dear Mr. Milhouse,

This town has forgotten Our Lord and will be taken down in a storm of evil!

We have endured the invasion of cannibals, "loonies," and strange folk for parts unknown. We have had godless Confederate spies in our midst. Strange creatures spontaneously appearing in hotel rooms. We've even had rumors of devil worship being performed RIGHT HERE IN PAIUTE SPRINGS!

The end times are approaching quickly. The signs are there but for the sighted to see. Come back to the Lord, my dear town, or we will spiral into despair.

Come to the Paiute Springs Church on Sunday and listen with your heart and your mind as Reverend Gage preaches of the sanctuary we have in the Living God.

REPENT!

—Signed, Marjorie Allan

Dear Marjorie, your concern for the souls of Paiute Springs is well-taken. I, too, have benefited from the wisdom and erudition of our Reverend Gage. However, live not in fear. For not only do we have Our Lord to support us, He has sent us those that would face such travails and with aplomb. Fear makes us support misguided fools and demagogues. I despair more for future generations than for this one.  We will persevere and we will thrive. I have the confidence of knowing people and knowing God. —O.M.

Dear Editor,

Why does no one in this town address the REAL problems that plague this town? We keep talking about cannibals and loonies and Satanists when the REAL problem is the taking over of the mining camps by MEXICANS. What are they doing here and why? Are they spies for Santa Anna? Is Nevada next to fall after California? What are we going to do about the MEXICANS?

—Signed Arvil Jackson

Arvil, I think you express something that not many people think about, largely because there are so few people from Mexico in the mining camps that it is not seen as a problem. As far as your concerns about what they are doing? Probably mining for silver and ghost rock like you. Trying to be part of the community. Sending money back to their families. I would humbly suggest there are bigger problems to think about. — O.M.

Dear Mr. Editor,

I'm scared.

I'm afraid of devil-worshipping, cannibal, loonies coming in to my house and taking my family.

What is happening out there? Why are all these things happening here?

I'm scared.

—Signed, Alice Granger

Alice, I think you express what a lot of people in Paiute Springs are feeling. But rest easier knowing that in times of trouble, this town does band together and deal with threats as they come. And we have among us stellar individuals that stand up, take notice, and DO THINGS to help. —O.M.

President Reviewing Contract with Pinkertons

—Wire Service

President Ulysses S. Grant is said to be reviewing the Government's relationship with the Pinkerton Detective Agency. Top aides indicate that a change is on the horizon in regard to the country's intelligence gathering operations. What has prompted this review is unknown at this time.

Rumors are stirring that the Union will take a more active hand in doing the work that has been outsourced to the Pinkertons. A new agency may emerge to handle domestic threats and gather needed intelligence for the protection of the Nation.

A spokesman from the Pinkerton Agency stated: "Our working relationship with the United States government is as strong as ever. Any rumors to the contrary are simply that—rumors."

A spokesman from President Grant's office was unavailable for comment.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

Hoax Revealed! Camp Reaper is No Spook

by Oliver Milhouse

The Sentinel, your source for Truth, has secured an exclusive interview with local scientist Miss Geraldine Keeler regarding her latest discovery on behalf of the populace of Paiute Springs.

There have been rumors of late of a "camp reaper" floating about the mining camps that surround the town. It moans as it floats on a bed of vapor and goes about frightening the miners, who fear that their death has come for them. This illustrious journal reported on these rumors in our previous August 6th edition. Miners were beginning to leave our fair town as a result of the troubles.

Well friends, we've been snookered! Miss Keeler and her boon companion, Roland Dupre, managed to track this "reaper" to its source and have discovered that it is no reaper at all but some sort of "mechanical," an automaton made of steel and with jet contraptions that make it float on ghost rock vapor.

I have seen the device, unveiled and defrocked, with my own eyes, and ladies and gentlemen, it is, indeed, nothing more that steel and clockwork and the work of our own vivid imaginations.

The device has been secured by Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and locked in the vault at the Paiute Springs Bank, where whomever has been controlling it can't get to it.

But who is responsible for this hoax? And why would they do it?

Miss Keeler would only say that there was an "ongoing investigation." But Marshal Kimsey revealed a bit more. "The perpetrator of this crime is known to us and we will be questioning him forthwith. In the meantime, let me and my associates do our flippin' jobs," said the Marshal. 

As far as why, the only speculation that Marshal Kimsey would give was that it was to scare miners into giving up their claims. But for what purpose, no one seems to know or want to guess.

So, friends and neighbors, be not afraid! For the reaper has NOT shown himself in our camps—only the old sins of greed and spite.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Town Under Siege!

by Oliver Milhouse

A goodly portion of the town of Paiute Springs had to take cover in the Town Hall for four days as the streets were filled with insane marauders during this past week. The siege conditions were for "the safety of the town" claims Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, though the close quarters surely bred rampant disease and other discomforts.

The troubles began can be traced back to the arrival of claim miner, Phineas Johnston, formerly of Pioche. He arrived in Paiute Springs on July 8th and set up his camp on the outskirts of the township proper. That night, the man shoots up the mining camp, killing three men and two women before being subdued and drug into the town jail. We list his victims below so that they won't be forgotten:

• Dalton Schofield
• Sheila Scranton
• Norman Potts
• Chip Durant
• Maggie Sutton

Johnston was held in the town jail for three days. According to a report by deputy town marshal Ethan Jennings, on the first day the prisoner as "wild, violent, and mean—a real ornery old cuss. He beat about the cell 'till his hands were bloody. I had to knock him out with a rifle butt 'afore he hurt himself." The next day, Mr. Johnston was "quiet as a churchmouse." On the third day, they found him hanging in the cell by his own suspenders, "deader than a plank."

Meanwhile, other trouble was brewing in our fair town.

While Phineas Johnston sat "quiet as a churchmouse" in his cell, another miner, Lazlo Dupinski, strode boldly into town, walked into the bank, and punched out Bob Lund. Then he shoved poor Petunia Davis into a countertop, breaking her arm, and proceeded to rob the bank, bold as brass. Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and Deputy Jennings arrived to put a stop to it and were forced to shoot Dupinski in the leg to get him to comply with their demands. "Damn fool got stubborn," was all Marshal Kimsey would say on the matter. Dupinski was bandaged up and taken into custody.

Now, friends, is when things start getting interesting.

On the day that Phineas Johnston was found dead in his cell, Marshal Kimsey answered no fewer than five calls regarding local acts of violence. Johnston's place in the cell was quickly replaced by another violent unnamed perpetrator. Then, that afternoon, Marshal Kimsey was forced to apprehend her OWN DEPUTY for shooting up the Imperial Saloon! As the jail was full, she was forced to chain Jennings to the central column of the building.

Frankly, friends, the violence in our town was growing to the point to where it was more than our Marshal could handle on her own. "People were going plumb crazy. My own deputy had gone loco. So I did what anyone would have done. I went to the next level of authority," Marshal Kimsey said by way of explaining herself. She wired the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office in Pioche for help.

That was the day she called for a general evacuation of the town and gathered us all into the Town Hall. Doc Fabry set up an infirmary in the corner of the large building, as he was still treating the gut shot victim Leo Stammer, another townsman fallen to the "loonies."

It was truly a sad day, my friends, when we handed our town over to the "loonies." When our Marshal gave up.

Nevertheless, we gathered together as a community and barricaded ourselves up against the onslaught of senseless violence.

Two days later, on the 17th, as we subsisted on whatever canned goods people had the good sense to bring with them, the posse from Pioche arrived with a deputy sheriff. They lasted about fifteen minutes against the band of loonies that assaulted them from all points. The posse was killed. The deputy was drawn and quartered.

Later than night, the Imperial caught fire. Owner Karl Schmidt and his friend, Willie Huddleston, as well as a couple of "working girls," managed to get out of the building before it collapsed. They took refuge with the rest of us in the Town Hall. Apparently, the loonies set the bar on fire.

Things began to turn around on the morning of the 18th. A stage arrived from nearby Fort 51 with two soldiers and none other than our local gadgeteer Miss Geraldine Keeler and her companion Mr. Roland Dupre.

The soldiers, Mr. Dupre, and Miss Keeler managed to dispatch two of the loonies—Dwight Bolger and Tom Ewing—and make it inside of Town Hall. There they were briefed on the situation by Marshal Kimsey and Doc Fabry.

Not satisfied with the holing up in the middle of town, Miss Keeler formulated a plan to fix the situation. You see, the Marshal and the Doc had observed a few things about these "loonies." And the Doc thought that they were infected by some kind of insect. Miss Keeler decided to try and capture one to find out. Full of spit and vinegar is our Miss Keeler.

She, a Sergeant Milo Philips, and Marshal Kimsey, went into the local mercantile to get supplies and then Miss Keeler fashioned a series of snares with which to trap one of these loonies.

Before they got the snare to work, they managed to catch one of them, though Sgt. Philips, in his zeal, managed to blow the man's leg into uselessness with a Winchester.  They brought him back to Doc Fabry, who used alcohol to remove the bizarre creature from the back of the man's neck. Marshal Kimsey trapped it in a jar.

Other than the leg, Cole Laramy is expected to make a full recovery.

Meanwhile, Miss Keeler got her snare to work. They placed three of them out in Main Street and began catching the "loonies" in earnest. By midday on the 19th, all of the loonies in town had been caught and cured of the strange parasite.

The three intrepid hunters, Miss Keeler, Sgt. Philips, and Marshal Kimsey, went looking for any other parasites lurking about. They found two and dispatched them with bullets. Finally, they went to Phineas Johnston's camp and found, beneath his bed, a strange, narrow, burrow. Putting a stick in it revealed a strange ichorous ooze. They filled in the hole and plugged it up.

The town has been extremely calm, having taken a collective deep breath after the trauma of the past week.

The Sentinel wishes to offer a big "Thank You!" to Miss Geraldine Keeler, Sergeant Milo Philips, and Marshal Lila Kimsey. Without your efforts, our town would surely be no more.

An Unknown Species

by Oliver Milhouse

Your intrepid reporter sat down with Miss Geraldine Keeler, resident scientist and, let's be honest, town hero, to talk about the recent troubles that beset our fair town.

In the course of bringing things back to normalcy in Paiute Springs, it was discovered that the strange behavior of the "loonies" that had taken over the town was due to some kind of creature that had infested their body. Once this creature was discovered and removed, the poor souls were their old selves again. Miss Keeler was on the forefront of eradicating this parasite from the town. This is what she had to say about the creature.

"This 'bug' is actually a previously unknown species of some sort that has found its way to us. It's behavior, parasitic as it was, was it's own form of survival. Perhaps it fed on spinal fluid or some other nutrient only found in human brain matter. It's hard to say. The behavior of the victims was surely a side effect of its actions, not its intent. This was not 'mind control' but simply a newly discovered natural phenomenon. The important thing to remember is that the town banded together to survive. Only united can we stand against such threats."

Words of wisdom from a smart lady. 

A Visit from Sheriff Yates

by Oliver Milhouse

On July 20th, our town received a visit from Sheriff Brody Yates of Lincoln County. He brought a posse of 10 men with him in search of his missing deputy. He met with Town Marshal Lila Kimsey and Mayor J.P. Jefferson at a private meeting in the Prince Royal Arms Hotel.

"We sat down with the Sheriff and broke the news about his deputy as gently as we could," Marshal Kimsey reported. "But as we had no suspects for who perpetrated the crime, and our explanation for the violence was unsatisfactory in his eyes, he was quite upset. Pissed off, even."

According to Mayor Jefferson, "The man came unhinged. He threatened to gather a posse big enough to take the whole 'damn lying town'. I managed to talk him down from that course of action, but he just wouldn't believe us about the creatures. That was one bridge too many."

Sheriff Yates was not available for comment directly to the Sentinel. He and his posse rode out of town like the Furies of old in a cloud of dust and indignation.

Local Inventor Wins Honors

by Oliver Milhouse

Our very own tinkerer, Miss Geraldine Keeler, brought home kudos from the First Annual Smith & Robards' Grand Exposition in Salt Lake City! Displayed proudly in her home is her certificate for "Best in Division: Engineering" regarding her project entitled "Demonstration of Surveying Pods for Intake, Detection, and Retrieval."

Also, according to a story from the Deseret News, Miss Keeler was the recipient of a special "Distinguished Service" award at the Expo for her exemplary behavior during some troubles they experienced during the event.

Congratulations Miss Keeler!  Your town is proud of you!

Lee Accepts Whig Nomination

—Wire Service

Retired General Robert E. Lee has accepted the nomination of the re-constituted Whig party to run for President of the Confederate States of America (CSA). The general, who retired in 1870 to run the Dixie Rails company, accepted the nomination by letter, which was read at the convention of the Whigs on July 12, 1876 in Memphis, Tennessee. "I am honored and humbled by this nomination and accept this call to service," he said.

The Whigs have been putting the 70 year old Lee forward as their nominee for some time. He is a favorite among the various veterans of the War and many of the populace. However, concerns about his age and his health have dogged him in recent months. The elderly general has already suffered one near-fatal heart attack and his more partisan detractors often point out that it is only a matter of time before he suffers another.

President Jefferson Davis issued no comment at this time.

Tilden Shouted Down in Pennsylvania

—Wire Service

Democratic presidential-nominee Samuel Tilden, the Governor of New York, was shouted down by Union veterans groups at a speaking engagement in Philadelphia this week as he travels the Union in search of votes against the incumbent, President Ulysses S. Grant.

This was not the first time for such an occurrence. Tilden, who is running on a platform of a "peace movement," has been dogged by displays such as this and has struggled to get his message out. Many of his supporters are intimidated by the displays of wounded veterans that frequently heckle his events.

Unless Tilden can address these issues, his campaign may be dead in the water.

Schmidt Seeks Partner to Re-Open Imperial

by Oliver Milhouse

Local businessman Karl Schmidt is seeking an investment partner to help him re-build and re-open the Imperial Saloon. "Oh, she'll re-open. It's just a matter of whether or not I'll be in debt up to my eyeballs or not," Karl says.

The original Imperial, Paiute Springs' only saloon, burned down in the recent troubles with the "loonies," as detailed in this noble publication.

Interested parties can contact Karl at the Higginbotham Boarding House on Main Street.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Kidnappers Revealed! Devil-Worshippers Uncovered!

by Oliver Milhouse

Hold on to your crosses, friends. This one's going to take you into the valley, so to speak.

This past week, our own beloved Imogene Crane, schoolteacher and literary champion, was assaulted on Camp Road by three masked men while she was on her way to have dinner with her friend, Geraldine Keeler, at the Keeler House. The two ladies managed to fight off the ruffians, but the event was nevertheless traumatic for our poor educator.

"I just don't understand why anyone would want to do such a thing," she said later. "It doesn't make any sense."

Apparently, she pulled a pendant off one of her assailants (pictured here). According to Miss Keeler, it is an alchemical symbol for silver.

According to Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, the men came from the mining camp of Zebedee Duvane. She and some unnamed others formed a posse and went and checked out the situation, but no arrests were made.

This may have been a mistake on the part of our esteemed Marshal.

The next day, Geraldine Keeler and Roland Dupre were attacked by three more masked miners from Duvane's camp. Unfortunately for them, Dupre was quick on the draw and Geraldine was no slouch with a gun her own self. They managed to capture one and take him in to the Marshal.

According to testimony from the subsequent trial, this man, one John Pendleton, worked for a "master" called the "Argent Flame" for whom Zebedee Duvane was a servant. They wanted Imogene, and later Geraldine, because they were spinsters and thus "unsullied."

Marshal Kimsey gathered Geraldine and Roland up and marched into the mining camps and confronted Duvane. A fight ensued and two more men were apprehended, as well as Zebedee Duvane.

One would think that would be the end of it, friends, but fanaticism is hard to put down.

That night, April 24, Geraldine Keeler was kidnapped from her own bed and taken to the Duvane camp and prepared for a devil-worshipping sacrifice! According to testimony from the trial, they strapped the poor young woman to a rock and were going to sacrifice her to some nefarious demon were it not for young Roland Dupre coming in, guns blazing, and disrupting the ceremony. Geraldine managed to free herself, and Roland was overwhelmed in the fight, but the cultists were subdued and she was released.

Devil-worship! Cults! Virgin sacrifice! All right here in Paiute Springs! It's disgraceful! But all's well that ends well, as the Bard says.  Let's send our prayers to Miss Keeler for a speedy recovery from this traumatic experience.

Miners Convicted. Dupre To Be Jailed.

by Oliver Milhouse

Zebedee Duvane and his group of diabolic miners have been convicted by Judge Perryman in circuit court and sentenced prison in Virginia City. Zebedee himself will spend 20 years in a cell for conspiracy to commit kidnapping and attempted murder. His followers will spend 30 years in prison for actually doing the deed.

In a sidebar, Judge Perryman sentenced Roland Dupre to 30 days in county prision in Pioche for being "gun-happy."

The Duvane crew is awaiting the arrival of U.S Marshals to transport them to Virginia City and then to prision. Dupre is awaiting the next stage to Pioche.

Jennings Named Deputy

by Oliver Milhouse

Ethan Jennings has been named Marshal Lila Kimsey's official deputy. The good Marshal has been saying for a long time that she needed the help and has finally taken action.

Jennings is twenty-one years old, a former shotgunner for the Old Barcelona stage, and an avid reader of dime novels—especially those about Nevada Smith.

Collins Hangs Up His Shingle

by Oliver Milhouse

Jim and Patrick Collins, Undertakers and Coffin Makers, have hung up their shingle on Church Street and are offering their services for all of your mortuary and funerary needs. An experienced pair of undertakers from Chicago, the Collins Brothers are prepared to help in your time of grieving to ease your deceased family member or friend into the Great Beyond. Feel free to call upon them day or night.

Coyotes Collude with Confederates

by Oliver Milhouse

It has become increasingly clear that the so-called "Coyote Confederation" is operating in collusion with the Confederated States of America. As offensives from the CSA escalate in light of their upcoming election, the Coyotes are seen to rarely raid Confederate sites or even disputed sites that are thought to be sympathetic to the Southern Cause. However, they do target Union supply lines and other vulnerable positions.

There may come a time, friends, where our beloved Union is forced to fight a war on multiple fronts against multiple enemies. It is no wonder that our esteemed leader, U.S. Grant, is looking so haggard these days. The weight of the ship of state is indeed great.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, I have had a sore throat that just won't quit. I've tried vinegar and hot water but that don't work none. Any idears? — B.

Dear B., This is the time of year when our noses and throats really start clogging up on us. Here's an "idear." Try dog fennel boiled with lard for your throat. I bet you see an improvement. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, My mama always said tansy tea was a good cure for white swelling. Is that true? Also what about this for warts? Rubbing the warts with stones and then throwing the stones away? Always worked for my Nana…—T.

Dear T., Tansy tea is a wonderful remedy for a great many ills, white swelling (or hip joint disease) being one of them. As far as the warts—well, let's just say I'd rather stick with my pumice stone and castor oil trick. I'd hate to gainsay your Nana—if that works for you, then by all means stick with it. —Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I lost my husband H. last summer in a mining accident—poor soul fell down a shaft. Anyway, these past two nights, he's been visiting me in my parlor, just as bold as you please. He shows up and just smiles at me, doesn't say a word. Then he leaves. What do you make of that? —N.

Dear N., I can only say that we live in strange times and if seeing your husband gives you comfort, then by all means take what comfort you can. If it is something that brings you more grief, then talk to Reverend Gage and see about a cleansing of your home. I only hope that whatever route you go, you have peace of mind about your husband and that you know that he loves you no matter where he is. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Shootout at the Prince Royal!

by Oliver Milhouse

Gunshots rang out through the night from our esteemed Mayor's establishment last Monday night around midnight! Night clerk Vince McGillicuddy reports that semi-permanent guest Roland Dupre had an altercation with a newly-arrived stranger, a Miss Simone Moreau of New Orleans, in his room, ending with his firing his gun at her. Some reports have Miss Moreau being armed with a derringer at the time, others, not. Regardless, the altercation ended with her bearing a gut wound!

But then things get a little odd. Tombstone Epitaph odd, my friends.

Apparently, the gathered combatants (which included Miss Moreau's bodyguards and Miss Geradine Keeler), were also visited by a wandering Dust Devil! Yes friends, one of those legendary creatures of the deep desert that we've heard tell of from wandering travelers but never dared believed! Darn thing showed up in the hotel room! 

At any rate. Mr. Dupre will be questioned by Judge Perryman when he returns from riding circuit, as will Ms. Moreau, who has been commanded by Marshal Kimsey to remain in town.

Dupre Exonerated

by Oliver Milhouse

This Friday Judge Bradford Perryman heard the strange case of the shootout at the Prince Royal Arms Hotel that took place on Monday. Roland Dupre, local card sharp and gunman, and Miss Simone Moreau, lately of New Orleans, had an altercation in Dupre's room at the Prince Royal which ended in Miss Moreau being shot by Mr. Dupre. Mr. Dupre claimed self defense.

According to Mr. Dupre, Miss Moreau claimed that he had something that belonged to her and she kept cajoling him to hand it over. He assured her that he didn't know what she was talking about and attempted to avoid the woman. According to Dupre, she sent her hulking bodyguards, known only as Malcolm and Rudy, to tear apart his room, presumably to find this item. When confronted about it, Dupre says she pulled a derringer on him, which forced him to draw on her in kind and defend himself.

For her part, Miss Moreau claims that she, indeed, believes, that Dupre has something that belongs to her, and that when she confronted him about it, he grew agitated. She called for her bodyguards, who tore down the door to get to her, and he drew a gun on her and fired, but she drew her gun too late to defend herself.

Judge Perryman characterized Miss Moreau's story as "unmitigated horsehit" and ordered her to leave town under the escort of the town Marshal. He found Mr. Dupre not guilty of attempted murder. Roland's gun was returned to him by the town Marshal. This is the second time in a month that the young man has appeared before the judge and been exonerated.

Egg Hunt on Church Lawn

by Oliver Milhouse

Just a reminder: There will be an Easter Egg Hunt on the Paiute Springs Church Lawn on Sunday April 16th at 9 o'clock before the sermon that morning.

"Peace Ordinance" on the Table

by Oliver Milhouse

A group of concerned citizens, led by Mrs. Minerva Gage, has brought to Mayor J.P. Jefferson a proposal to pass a "peace ordinance" in the town, essentially banning the carrying of firearms in the city limits. Other communities have had such ordinances pass in an attempt to establish law and order on the frontier. No word as to whether the ordinance will appear as a referendum in an upcoming election or not.

Ask Aunt Sally

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, I find myself being melancholy much of the time. Even around friends or doing things that usually bring me joy. I sometimes turn to the bottle to bring me solace. What can I do? — G.

Dear G, I am so sorry to hear that you are sad. But the bottle is not the answer. Only more sadness lies there. Turn to your friends or to the Good Lord. Find time to contemplate what brings you joy and focus on that. Turn away from thoughts of sadness. Look to family and friends and the Church for support. You have people that care about you. Don't turn away from them and seek solace in drink. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, My husband says my breath is horrible. Not just in the morning, either. What can I do? I eat hard candy to mask it but that don't seem to do no good…— S.

Dear S., Try chewing mint leaves for a while, this may help. You may also need to see Doc Fabry—you may have abscess and this rot may be the root cause of the odor. Also, get a pick for your teeth and pick after every meal. Things get caught up in between your teeth and fester and cause the stink in your mouth. Getting rid of that will help. Between all of these things, you should feel, and smell, better in no time.— Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, My brother is a toot. He keeps putting frogs in my bed. I want to get him but good. What can I do? — K.

Dear K., Aren't brothers the worst? There are any number of things you can do to "get him but good." Put molasses in his boots. Put a grass snake in his bed. Don't be afraid to get creative. But most of all—don't hurt him too bad—he is your brother, after all. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Fireball Streaks Toward Keeler House

by Oliver Milhouse

During the fantastic storms we had sweep through our town on the night of March 3, as the lightning danced through clouds and the winds whipped through the mountains, our very own Ryland Weeks saw a sight he won’t soon forget.

“There I was, sitting in my tent, hoping like Hell the whole damn thing wasn’t going to up and blow off down into the Basin, when I look up into the sky and see this flash of fiery light. It started careening downward and I yelled for the other fellers in the camp to ‘take cover’ but then I saw it was more southerly than I thought.

Then, this ball of flame streaked down toward old Doc Keeler’s place on Church Street. It was as if the Devil’s own billiards were being played in the Nevada sky. I saw the fire alight down behind the house, but lost track of it after that. All I did was hear a terrible crash-—and then the eeriest nothing you ever didn’t hear. It was like the storm stopped to listen to things for a moment. Then the thunder cracked and the weather took to stormin’ up again.

The next day, I half expected to hear that the Keeler place was a-fire. It weren’t—-and I’m glad of it, mind you. Nevertheless, I’ll never forget the way that fireball careened through air, not like it was fallen, but like it was flyin’ itself. Damnedest thing, I tell you.”

Anyone else have a story of the Paiute Springs Fireball to report from that night? What about Geraldine Keeler? We at the Sentinel approached the owner of the house for a statement and actually received one! Indeed, Miss Geraldine confirms that a flying machine of undetermined origin crashed into her back yard. She is personally investigating the device and its origins and hopes to present your humble reporter with more information within the week!

Stay vigilant, gentle readers. And watch the skies!

Confederate Spies Infiltrate Paiute Springs

by Oliver Milhouse

There's been a fair amount of gunplay going on in our fair town this past week. It turns out that a band of Confederate spies had come Paiute Springs to foment trouble and cause unrest.

It began with the arrival of "Miss Lavern Stefano" (if that is her real name) and her "cousin" Max Tucci. They and their entourage of ten "ranch hands" began snooping around town on March 7th. It turns out many of their inquiries concerned the flying machine found in Miss Geraldine Keeler's backyard. I am proud to say that your humble editor did not fall for their story and remained vigilant, as promised, against trouble. I never trusted that woman, but I digress.

This snooping precipitated a meeting between our esteemed Mayor and our beloved Town Marshal, who both descended upon the Keeler House to confer with Miss Geraldine. Now, I was not privy to that conversation (and have been stonewalled at every turn by Town officials), but it was sufficient to cause Miss Keeler and her boon companion, Roland Dupre, to high-tail it out of town.

The two were pursued by a couple of the "ranch hands" employed by Mr. Tucci. Mr. Dupre, in the process, was shot in the arm, but Miss Geraldine made it out of town.

This action seemed to anger our "visitors", who posted guards at the each of the main intersections leading out of town and "Miss Stefano" and "Mr. Tucci" began to hole up in the Prince Royal—with our Town Marshal and Mayor helplessly in tow.

Meanwhile, Miss Geraldine returned with a squad of Union soldiers from nearby Fort 51. The soldiers infiltrated the Prince Royal and captured the ringleaders!  

Currently, "Miss Stefano" or "Miss Josephine" (depending on who you talk to) is being held in our town jail, awaiting pick-up by the Union authorities. The Confederate "troops-in-sheep's clothing" have been escorted to the Arizona border.

But the question remains—just what was it that Geraldine Keeler found in her backyard that so interested the Confederates? She's not saying and it seems our Town officials have been sworn to secrecy by the Union. But will the rebels return to claim their bounty? Is the town really safe?Only time will tell..

The Arachne Circle to Meet

by Oliver Milhouse

"The Arachne Circle", a meeting of the town's spinsters, will take place in Mamie McDaniel's Boarding House three o'clock this afternoon. Miss Imogene Crane welcomes any woman who wishes to join them for tea and fellowship.

Get Well Soon!

by Oliver Milhouse

Best of wishes to Clara Dunwoody, of the mining camps. She's gotten pneumonia pretty bad. Friends are soliciting food and funds for her speedy recovery. Contact Jeb Wallingford for more information.

Ask Aunt Sally

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, I often come home from a rousing night at the Imperial and wake up feeling poorly. Do you have any suggestions for a "morning after" cure? — X.

Dear X, Other than simple clean living, you might find that this will help. Drink plenty of water. Find some ginger root or prickly pear cactus—either one of these might help. But, most of all, your morning after is cured by your night before—consider a change there and your ills will be over! — Yours, Aunt Sally. 

Dear Aunt Sally, I just can't stand my boss. I need the money though. What can I do? — P.

Dear P., You have to ask yourself what you need more—peace of mind or the almighty coin. What are you willing to put up with? Nobody's boss is perfect—and I am my own boss. But you have to figure out what your heart and soul will survive. Also, you might try settling your differences with your boss—you could be pleasantly surprised! — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, My Mister is a miserable old cuss. He didn't used to be, but now I can't stand to breathe the same air as him. Is God going to strike me down if I take the next stage out? — D.

Dear D., I'm sorry you're so unhappy. As far as the proverbial lightning bolt, that's a question for Reverend Gage, I'm afraid. But I can say that marriage is sometimes hard and you have to work at it to get it right. Before you head to the stage coach, try fixing what is broken. The work may be worth it. — Yours, Aunt Sally. 

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Local Boy Still Missing, Presumed Dead

by Oliver Milhouse

Our own "Little Jake" Botham, only ten years of age, has been missing since the night of February 28. He was last seen at the traveling carnival that had visited our fair town, "Aloysius P. Southmeyer's Traveling Mysterium," at the tent of the Bearded Lady. Young Jake never returned from the tent to his parents.

Witnesses in the mining community confirmed that the lad was last seen in the company of a "grandmother" and led into a tent in the shantytown that surrounds the town proper. Investigation into the matter by local citizens Geraldine Keeler and Roland Dupre resulted in the the shooting death of a woman only identified as "Gerde," who owned the tent in question.

According to Town Marshal Lila Kimsey, there was evidence that this "Gerde" had taken the child at one point or the other. There were burnt remains of the child's clothing in her woodstove, as well as eyewitness placing her with the child that evening. Apparently, when confronted with these accusations,  she bodily attacked Miss Keeler.  Her companion, Mr. Roland Dupre, is an accomplished gunman and managed to fight the woman off of Miss Keeler—at the cost of her own life.

Miss Keeler had no comment on the matter, but Roland Dupre did. "That old woman was a fiend out of Hell. She…changed. Her jaw…dropped. It up and tried to take a hunk of flesh out of Geraldine's arm. So, yes, I shot the thing in the gut until it couldn't get back up. And I'd do it again, if in the same tent on the same night."

Nevertheless, no sign of the boy has been found other than scraps of clothing in the woodstove of this "Gerde's" tent. Townsfolk, as well as carnival folk, search the town and its environs, for signs of foul play, but nothing was turned up.

Town Marshal Lila Kimsey has officially declared the search over. "I'm afraid that boy is gone. It's time to give those folks of his closure. Life is for the living."

There will be a candlelight vigil and memorial service for the boy at the Paiute Springs Church tomorrow, March 6, at seven in the evening.

The Sentinel tips its hat to the parents of "Little Jake" Botham, "Big Jake" and Sally Botham. Say a prayer for these folks, when you get a chance.

Town Enjoys Traveling "Mysterium"

by Oliver Milhouse

Our fair town was visited by "Aloysius P. Southmeyer's Traveling Mysterium" last week and thoroughly entertained in the process.

The "Mysterium's" main event featured a tightrope walker, a pair of married trapeze artists from New York, a trio of acrobatic clowns, a trick rider and sharpshooter, and a Sioux knife thrower. The thrills were non-stop and the performances breathtaking. Of particular note was the performance of Jamie Smith, the Sioux knife thrower. Even our own town curmudgeon, Geraldine Keeler got in on the action and volunteered to be a target on the first night of the three-night engagement. Smith threw her blades with precision and managed to miss our Miss Keeler, all while blindfolded!

The sideshows were the typical fare of bearded ladies, strongmen, and sword-swallowers. Still, the performers were top-notch and definitely "the real deal." Of note is the display of the Fiji Mermaid. I defy anyone to find the fakery in that specimen!

The "Traveling Mysterium" was a truly entertaining show and a welcome entry into the Spring season for our community, local tragedies aside.

First Annual Garden Club To Meet

by Oliver Milhouse

The first annual Paiute Springs Garden Club is to meet Wednesday March 8th at Town Hall. The ladies will discuss the establishment of a town garden, the election of officers, and other official business. It is our hope that the Garden Club will become a perennial favorite!

Dunmoody Announces Engagement

by Oliver Milhouse

Jeb and Delores Dunmoody would like to announce the engagement of their daughter, Alice, to Jim Cleveland, a local boy from here in Paiute Springs. No date has yet been set for the pending nuptials. Yee-haw!

Dupre to See Judge Perryman

by Oliver Milhouse

Local gunfighter, card player, and raconteur Roland Dupre will be arraigned before Circuit Judge Bradford Perryman on Wednesday, March 8th on charges of manslaughter and creating a disturbance. These charges are in connection with the what has become known as the "German Grandmother" case. If found guilty, Dupre could face fines and up to 10 years in federal prison.  The Sentinel wishes Roland the best of luck!

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, My husband refuses to eat my cooking. He says he'd rather eat "chicken feed" and goes off to the Prince Royal and spends too much money at the restaurant there. What can I do? —H.

Dear H., First of all, it is not a crime to not be a chef in the kitchen. The Lord knows I'm not. But you can take steps to ensure you don't drive your hubby away to Mayor Jefferson's Den of Iniquity ('wink wink,' JP). First of all, practice for your friends. See what works and what doesn't before you cook for your husband. Second, play to your strengths—if pork chops are too much for you, quit cooking them! Find out what works and stick with that! Finally, if the other steps don't work, join your husband at the Prince Royal and order the filet mignon. Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, My name is [removed] and I have heard rumors that Der Kinderfresser has come to this town. Is this true? Ist my little Michael and my little Liese safe? Or is it true that the card-player killed the Teufel?—R.

Dear R., There's a lot of fear in your letter. I'm sorry that our stories keep you so anxious for your children. But remember, the actions of the good people around you, and of you joining forces with them, will always defeat evil. As far as the "child-eater", if there ever was such a thing, rest assured, it is gone now. No more children have disappeared since that night. Roland Dupre, though only recently come to Paiute Springs, is a friend of the Sentinel, and has proven himself to be not only a deft hand, but a good heart. So, yes, the fiend is dead and Roland killed it. With a bullet or with the Truth, one way or the other, the fiend is dead. Rest easy, friend. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I got me the gas real bad. My wife done kicked me out of the bedroom. It seems like no matter what I eat, too. Doc's got me on castor oil (hate that stuff). Bought some Elixir from this Briggs feller. Taste like I licked my mule and did as much good. What can I do?—J.

Dear J., Eat and drink what you want. Learn an outdoor trade. Invest in a cork plug or get used to the couch. Seems to me you've tried everything else. May as well enjoy yourself. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Freaks Attack Passengers At Last Switch

by Oliver Milhouse

This past Monday (January 31), Charlotte Romine, esteemed shotgunner for the Old Barcelona Line, came riding into the township on a runaway stage, alone, and at night. When Lionel Putnam, local livery owner, managed to calm the horses attached to dusty Concord, the gathered townsfolk found that Charlotte was in a state: bloody, bruised, and nearly dead. Doc Fabry was sent for and she was helped out of the coach's driver's seat. All she could say was "Last switch. Need help. Teeth. Too many teeth."

Town Marshal Lila Kimsey was on the scene and immediately called together a posse to go check out the goings on at the Last Switch, some fifteen miles to the north of town. For one thing, driver George Hawkins was missing and for another, Charlotte had just been assaulted something fierce.

Lionel Putnam and his son, Darius, volunteered, as did local card player and gunman Roland Dupre. The four men headed up Church Street and stopped in at the home of Geraldine Keeler. Apparently she was interested in the affair, as she joined her horse to theirs and the five rode north, lead by Geraldine's lantern.

As to what happened that night, we have reports from eye witnesses. Folks, it is a strange tale indeed, and violent.

According to Marshal Kimsey, the posse rode up on the switch. After checking out the situation in the wagon yard, they found signs of a struggle, a great deal of blood on the ground, and a pistol marked "G.H."—George Hawkins.

The lights were on and smoke trailed from the chimney of the house.

Miss Keeler snuck around the perimeter of the house and peeked in the windows. Inside were two women sitting on the sofa, an older woman comforting a younger one. Gathered around the kitchen table were five men, including a Union soldier and a Paiute scout. And George Hawkins, nursing a wound to the head. The menfolk were all in a heated argument of some sort. 

Miss Keeler came back and reported to the posse. Then Marshal Kimsey went and knocked on the door. One of the men that was arguing, a younger man with a large mustache and fancy suit, opened the door with a big smile and welcomed them in. The Marshal identified herself and avowed that she wanted to talk to George.

"That's when we all knew something was afoot," Marshal Kimsey said to me, later. "George is an honest sort and what he was sellin', we just weren't buyin'. All of them in there, 'cept the womenfolk, tried to come off as if everything was sweet as peaches but somethin' was rotten."

"Mr. Hawkins managed to convey to Miss Keeler that there was a trap door beneath the central rug," said Roland Dupre. "That started us on the trail to wondering if the truth was beneath our feet."

The posse reconvened outside the switch house and started searching the grounds. Eventually, Miss Keeler and Mr. Dupre checked the shed beside the house.

Miss Keeler led the way with a lantern. Sure enough, there was a door in here leading into cellar, connected to the house. Miss Keeler opened the door and went inside.

"We were immediately set upon," said Mr. Dupre. "It was a monstrous-looking man. Bald, with bat-like ears. Deep, dark eyes with red points in the center. Long, clawed fingers. And long, needle-like teeth protruding from their blood-red mouths. He jumped forward swiped at Geraldine with his long fingers, quick as a breath. We both drew iron and tried to send it back to Hell—but it just seemed to ignore us. It was relentless as the Mississippi in flood season."

According to Mr. Dupre, the freak tried to drink Miss Keeler's blood out of her throat. The two of them managed to switch places in the doorway so that it could concentrate on him instead of her, but it was strong as an ox and just as stubborn.

Miss Keeler apparently hit upon a new idea and left the cellar, only to return a moment later with a wood axe. By this time, it had latched on to Mr. Dupre's neck.

"It was strong, and its teeth were sharp, like little steel knives cutting into my neck. I'm not ashamed to say my knees gave way when Geraldine came back," Mr. Dupre said.

In one mighty swing, Miss Keeler managed to remove the freak's head from its shoulders. It collapsed to the floor, releasing Mr. Dupre.

By this time, the upper door had been opened, making Marshal Kimsey and George Hawkins witness to the life-saving blow. It also shed light on the remaining horrors of the cellar.  

Another of the freaks was holding a young girl hostage down there, his long-fingered hand resting on the moppet's innocent head. Further, the corpses of the Clarkes, the family that ran the switch house, littered the floor.

"The freak had the nerve to try and negotiate his way out, with the little girl, Jasmine, in tow," Marshal Kimsey said later. "I told him where to stow that noise."

Apparently reaching a stalemate, the freak reached down and bit the little girl on the neck! Marshal Kimsey started firing on the thing and Miss Keeler approached with the axe, but apparently the weight too much for the woman, for she kept missing the fiend.

The Marshal, dissatisfied with the uselessness of her bullets, jumped down into the cellar and took the axe from Miss Keeler. Then, in a mighty swing, took the head of the second freak.

"Damndest thing I ever saw," Marshal Kimsey said. " I know I hit that thing with a Peacemaker, but I may as well have thrown jelly beans at it."

The little girl, Jasmine Justice, formerly of Tombstone, Arizona Territory, is recovering from her wounds and has moved on to Pioche with her mother, Lucille. Mr. Dupre is also fully recovered from his ordeal. Miss Keeler is also recovering nicely.

The bodies of the freaks, still unidentified, will be on display in front of Allan's General Mercantile until Friday, and then they will be interred in unmarked graves at the west side of the cemetery. The nature of the strangers is still unknown, though Miss Keeler asserts that they are examples of genetic mutations of some sort or another. Marshal Kimsey asserted that she wouldn't dare speculate and don't rightly care—they're dead as dirt now and that's all that matters. Roland Dupre would only smile and say "the only difference between a monster and a genetic mutation is that one keeps you up at night."

Good night, friends.

New Visitors to Paiute Springs in Aftermath of Violence 

by Oliver MIlhouse

Paiute Springs would like to welcome our newest visitors, newly come in the aftermath of the horrific events of January 31, as previously reported.

Matthew Briggs is a seller of elixirs and powders from Virginia City He plans to stay in Paiute Springs and ply his trade for a spell. If that dries up, he'll head to Pioche.  

Gertrude Mankowitcz is a Polish immigrant from Chicago who has come to Nevada to live with her son, Christopher, a prospector in Pioche.

Robert Farmer is a prospector and businessman on his way to Pioche to check on his holdings there.

Major Adam Traynor (Ret.) is a former Union officer returning home to Pioche after sustaining an injury.

Shane "Three Feathers" Robinson is a Paiute scout employed by the Army on a courier mission to Pioche.

Lucille Justice, and her daughter, Jasmine, are both traveling to Pioche to stay with Lucille's mother-in-law after the untimely death of her husband, Gordon, back in Tombstone, Arizona.

If you see any of these folks before they return to Pioche, give them a big Paiute Springs welcome!

Funeral Services Friday

by Oliver Milhouse

Funeral services for the Clarke family will be held at the Paiute Spring Church this Friday, February 11, 1876 at one o'clock. Internment will follow.

The Clarkes were Edna, Paul, and young Travis. They ran the last switch of the Old Barcelona Stage Line between Paiute Springs and Virginia City.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, my ding dang horse has gone and gotten hisself a cold. What can i do?—H.

Dear H, mix four ounces of egg whites, 1 ounce of camphor, 1 ounce of ginger, 1 ounce of camuel, 2 ounces of licorice powder and honey. Use two bowls the first day and one bowl every day until they come out all right. Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, There have been a lot of strange things happening of late. I'm beginning to be frightened. What should I do? —F.

Dear F., We do, indeed, live in strange times. But we must be brave and carry on. Our faith and our native strength will carry us on. Keep strong, F., and maintain your faith in your neighbors and in your Lord. Yours, Aunt Sally. 

Dear Aunt Sally, You really are a silly old bat, ain't you? —R.

Dear R., If you can't say anything nice, then do as my sainted mother said. Shut yer face. Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Sunday Edition

Daltry Bros. Purchase Mechanical Mule

by Oliver Milhouse

Asa and Randall Daltry, two silver miners encamped around our fair town, have gone in together on the purchase on one of those wondrous contraptions made available by the Smith & Robards outfit out of Salt Lake City. Their previous mule, Bessy, being a cantakerous beast by all accounts, was not well liked and was unceremoniously sold to Mr. Han, our local launderer.

The arrival of the mechanical model by air carriage last Wednesday was the most exciting thing to happen in the town all week. The carriage landed just outside the outskirts of town and set down gently. Two gentlemen trundled out the crate and announced themselves and their intended addressees. The Daltry Brothers came forward and signed for their package and then the air carriage gentle rose on gossamer wings once again. It was breathtaking.

It took about half an hour for Asa to figure out how to get the confounded device started. But once he did, he and Randall walked it back to their camp. Soon they and some of the children around town were having mule rides—until it shut down again. They managed to solicit the help Geraldine Keeler, the town's local tinker, to get things right again. Soon, the miners and the children were cavorting through town on "Bucket" once again.

Deirdre Hollingsworth Dell

by Oliver Milhouse

We were saddened to hear of the passing of Deirdre Hollingsworth Dell (b. March 1, 1806). "Dee Dee" was a staple of the mining community and welcome face at the Imperial. Her razor-sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude were her defining characteristics.

She is survived by a daughter, Samantha Jane (Dell) Case of Virginia City, and a son, Edgar Daniel Dell of Pioche.

Wanted: Thomas Wayne Michaelson

by Oliver Milhouse

Town Marshal Lila Kimsey is offering a reward of $100 for the arrest of Thomas Wayne Michaelson. Michaelson apparently came into the mining camp and absconded with some supplies from various tents in the area. A poster is available in the Jail.

US Government Denies Existence of Strange Lights

by Oliver Milhouse

Your intrepid reporter has contacted the officials at the United States government facility to the north of Paiute Springs, colloquially known as "Fort 51" concerning the strange lights sighted in that direction.

I have received the following "official response.

Dear Mr. Milhouse,

Thank you for your inquiry. There are no experiments, "illicit" or otherwise, being performed at Fort 51 by the United States Government, that can account for the "strange lights" you or your readers report. Might I suggest your community look a bit closer to its own affairs instead of toward imaginary illuminations far into the desert skies.

Yours,

Captain Jay Kyle, 10th Cavalry Regiment, United States Army

Naturally, the authorities would have us deny our own senses rather than address the matter. Rest assured, gentle reader, we will get to the bottom of the matter. Truth will out!

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally,

I can't seem to get my husband to pay attention to me. He comes in from a day of prospecting and tells me about his day, but when I go to describe how my day with the children has gone, he ignores me or interrupts with "more important" things—like inquiries about dinner. I think what I do is important, too. Is there a way to make him see this? — C.

Dear C.,

Of course what you do is important. Without your important work, the household would fold around this old coot's ears. He just seems to have forgotten that. Sit down and talk to your husband about this one evening, after all the chores have been taken care of and there is nothing to distract from your talk. If he still doesn't listen, well, then quiet perseverance, the watch-word of the fairer sex since time immemorial, shall be your shield I'm afraid. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I can't stand my father-in-law. Can. Not. Stand. Him. He's a Confederate Sympathizer, for one thing. For another, he's a snuffer. Disgusting habit. At any rate, my wife dotes on the old man—a real "Daddy's Girl." But if I have endure another family dinner with this man, I may have to call him out, "in the Southern Way." What can I do?" —F.

Dear F., I'm afraid you married into your wife's family when you took your vows. Didn't you meet her family when you were courting? At any rate, you should have known exactly what you were getting into. Further, think of your wife before making any false moves. Your duty to our wife necessitates that you indulge her in this. Duty before comfort, always. — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, I'm pretty sure my neighbor stole my German Chocolate Cake recipe—the nerve! And she never has the class to mention where she got it. What should I do about it? — D

Dear D., My dear this is greatest of problems! Simply invite her to bake more cakes! Then you get more cake. Sure, she may get credit, but you get free cake! —Yours, Aunt Sally.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Evening Edition

Showdown At High Noon!

by Oliver Milhouse

A dramatic scene played itself out at high noon today on Main Street as the mysterious, skull-faced stranger returned today to call out our town's spiritual advisor, Reverend Timothy Gage—or rather, Timothy Gaught—as the the stranger referred to him as. It appears our esteemed pastor has a checkered past of some sort, if he felt the need to change his name before heading into parts West.

At any rate, credit must be given to the Reverend for facing down the formidable stranger in the middle of the street with nothing but his faith and old Doc Keeler's duster to protect. Yes, friends and neighbors, our own Miss Geraldine Keeler must have made a loan of the eccentric doctor's allegedly bullet-proof garment to the Reverend, for it made an appearance today.

The two men, sinner and saint, exchanged heated words across the dusty street. The skull-faced man, calling the Reverend names like "lily-livered," "deserter," "disloyal," and "traitor," while the Reverend maintained a steely determination to see the confrontation through, each stared eah other down before, finally, things came to a spectacular climax.

Suddenly, the skull-faced man was rocked nearly out of his boots by blast coming from somewhere near the Imperial Saloon. Then the Reverend held aloft his crucifix and began reciting the Lord's Prayer at the stranger. And, lo and behold friends, the stranger began to cower in onslaught! He started backing his way down Main Street, making his way out of town. He never even reached for the Navy pistol he had tucked in his the waistband of his trousers. He just railed against the Reverend and warned him that a "storm was a-comin'. Yes indeed, you all are going to reap a whirlwind!" But the coward backed his way out of town and left.

Neighbors, I have never seen such a demonstration of the power of faith in all my years. Here we had a powerful mean man, a gunman and a bully, cowed by the power of faith. If that, my friends, doesn't put you into a pew on a Sunday, then your soul just can't be saved.

Checkered past or not, the Sentinel gives a tip of the hat to Reverend Gage for his demonstration of faith in the face of adversity.

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Edition

Cannibals Terrorize Town! Four Killed! Many More Injured!

by Oliver Milhouse

Our fair town of Paiute Springs, Nevada was the victim of unspeakable violence in the twilight hours this morning as a gang of murderous cannibals came tearing into downtown, pounding down doors, destroying property  and attacking people in their homes and on the streets. The gang, whose purpose is at this time unknown, but the subject of great speculation, attacked with brute strength marked with a propensity to bite their victims and tear flesh away with their very teeth.

According to eyewitness reports, the attack began shortly after midnight when the church bell started ringing  and a stranger who had arrived in town that very morning was seen up in the church belfry. That appears to have been the fiends' signal to attack. They came out of the darkness and started assaulting folks in force. Even Ole Svensson, the Herculean silver miner from Virginia City, seemed to have been overcome with the sheer strength of these brutes. He was found dead outside of his tent, his skull cracked open and his brains partially devoured by the devils. He was one of four ultimate victims of the night of violence.  The others, Thomas Mowry, Janine Squarrels, and Matthew King will, along with Svensson, be interred at Paiute Springs Cemetery on Tuesday, January 25, 1876.

The fiends were finally put down after a joint effort of citizens who gathered on Main Street to much acclaim. Many shots were fired before the formidable assailants were finally put down. None were taken alive.

Heroes of that night are cited to be our very own Town Marshal,  Lila Kimzey, Miss Geraldine Keeler, and a Mr. Roland Dupre, late of New Orleans.

The Assault on Paiute Springs—An Inside Job?

by Oliver Milhouse

This morning's heinous attack on Paiute Springs may be have been the work of insiders, sources say. Emil Peabody, one of the folks who did his civic duty by helping clean up the mess of the aftermath of the slaughter, confided to your intrepid reporter that the one of the bodies of the fallen cannibals was none other our own Amos Bracken—late of Paiute Springs!  

"Oh, it was Amos alright. I'd recognize that gap-tooth sumbitch anywhere," Peabody said. "Of course, that colored feller done put a new hole in his head to match the one Oscar had kicked there, but I'd still recognize him," Peabody reported.

As our dear readers probably recall, the Sentinel had already reported on the death of Mr. Bracken some two week past. He had, apparently allegedly, passed of head injury inflicted by his mule, Oscar. The Sentinel hereby retracts it's earlier statement—it appears its report of Mr. Bracken's death was premature.

As for the other members of the gang, they appeared to be in various states of disarray and dishevelment—most likely itinerants and vagabonds. What drove them to such desperate measures, it is difficult to say at this time. Rest assured, gentle reader, that the Sentinel, "Ever Vigilant," will continue to pursue the truth!

In Memoriam

by Oliver Milhouse

Joint services will be held on Wednesday January 26, 1876 at 9:00 am at the Paiute Springs Church for Ole Svensson, Thomas Mowry, Janine Squarrels, and Matthew King, victims of the Cannibal Night Massacre.  

Skull-Faced Stranger Leads Assault on Town!

by Oliver Milhouse

Quiet Sunday worship in Paiute Springs, Nevada was interrupted this week by a strange man who entered the local church in the middle of our own Reverend Timothy Gage's sermon on "turning the other cheek." The stranger, whose visage was covered by a broad-brimmed hat and a handkerchief, strode slowly down the aisle of the house of worship with shock onlookers looking agape.

The stranger then stops a few feet from the pulpit and cocks back his hat and removes his handkerchief. At this point, it was difficult for your intrepid reporter to get a good look, but whatever her saw made the good Revered faint dead away. Then the stranger turned his visage on us and, friends, I have to say what I saw was unnerving to say the least.

His face was like a weathered skull with only a few leathery bits of muscle holding the jaw in place. His empty eye sockets were filled with an eldritch green glow. A single gold tooth gleamed in the man's ghastly permanent smile. Friends and neighbors, I am not ashamed to say that my knees buckled and my guts turned to water at the sight.

Then he spoke: "Tim always did run piss yella'. That's alright. I'll come back later." Then he strode slowly back down the aisle toward the exit.  

Needless to say there was must consternation at that man's appearance in the house of the Lord. However, I found very few congregants willing to discuss their reactions to the stranger. More's the pity. Only through shared experience can we learn and grow as a community.

Was it an elaborate mask the man wore? Theatrical make-up? An affectation to instill fear in enemies, much like our Indian neighbors? The eccentricity of a madman? I cannot say, only speculate. All we know is that fear seems to be the calling card of this stranger who seems intent on calling out our good Reverend for intended violence.

Eyewitness reports put the same stranger in the belfry of the church during the cannibal attack this morning. Throughout the assault on our town, the stranger called out for "Tim," referring to him as "lily-livered," "a deserter," "disloyal" and a "traitor." He also said "They that sow the wind shall reap the whirlwind! And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light!"

After all of the cannibals were dispatched, the stranger made his way out of town, but not before announcing that he'd be back tomorrow at noon to "call Tim Gaught out once and for all."

Friends, to have a stranger such as this in our fair town and this assault occur at the same time is simply a coincidence that beggars the mind. No, the stranger and the cannibals are clearly connected—nay, it is this reporter's opinion that this stranger is the ringleader of that gang. That his actions in the church belfry signaled their attack.

What motivates this stranger and his gang of flesh-eaters? Clearly revenge of some sort against this "Tim Gaught." But who's Tim Gaught? Your dogged reported has yet to uncover a Tim Gaught residing in Paiute Springs. And what connection does any of this have with our good Reverend, for whom the stranger clearly has it out? Rest easy, gentle reader. The Sentinel will shine its light on these mysteries soon enough.

Town Elders Hole Up In Hotel

by Oliver Milhouse 

In the aftermath of the massacre of our beloved town by cannibals this morning, a meeting of prominent citizens—and one noted stranger—took place at the Prince Royal Arms early this morning. In attendance were the Honorable John Paul ("J. P.") Jefferson, mayor of Paiute Springs, "Doc" Glenn Fabry, Town Marshal Lila Kemzey, our own Reverend Timothy Gage, local inventor Miss Geraldine Keeler, and finally Mr. Roland Dupre late of New Orleans, who proved himself an able hand with a gun during the troubles.

In defiance of the principles of a Free Press, public disclosure, and common courtesy, this reporter was denied access to said meeting by Mayor J. P. Jefferson. In no uncertain terms, I was told to "Go home." The fact is, Mr. Mayor, I am home. Paiute Springs is my home. The truth is my home. And I will not be deterred!

What is obvious is that these principals are discussing the response to this stranger's threat. What is not obvious is the form the response can take. Will the town be hiring young Mr. Dupre as a gunman? Will Miss Keeler be formulating some sort of infernal device to protect the town from cannibals? Will J. P. Jefferson do anything to protect his chances for re-election in the next cycle? All of these are on the table at this point. Rest assured, gentle reader, that when the truth emerges, the Sentinel will be there to report it!

The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Strange Lights To The North

by Oliver Milhouse

Prospectors have reported seeing strange lights to the north of town. Speculation is running rampant as to the source of the weird illuminations. Some attribute them to meteor showers, others say they're the result of too much drink on the part of the prospectors. All agree that the source of the light is many miles from the town. Town Marshal Lila Kemzey reports that if they turn out to be anything more than will o' the wisps, rest assured, she'll round up a posse and check them out. Otherwise, she urges citizens to keep calm and mind their own beezwax. Be sure that your Ever Vigilant Sentinel will keep you posted!

It's a Girl!

by Oliver Milhouse

Roman and Francis Farrabee have had their first child, a beautiful daughter by the name of Esme. All are welcome to the baby's christening ceremony at the Paiute Springs Church on January 30. Let's show them some support!

Local Songbird Soars

by Oliver Milhouse

Our very own Ginny Lindstrom, whose velvet tones we have all enjoyed at our esteemed Mayor's Prince Royal Arms restaurant, has secured a permanent contact with Alvin Marstrand Players. This troupe of entertainers, if you recall, visited our fair town, just two weeks hence and plied us with their sounds of the East and South.  They were apparently quite struck with our Ginny and we couldn't be prouder. Be sure and catch Ginny's final performance at the Prince Royal on January 29 at 8 o'clock.

Alas, Alas

by Oliver Milhouse

Jack Harrington's mule, Otis, is no more. The poor beast just keeled over last Tuesday morning while hauling Jack's milk cart. No funeral arrangements have been announced.

Tilden to Join Race

by Oliver Milhouse

New York governor Samuel Tilden is reputed to be joining the race for President against our incumbent,  Ulysses S. Grant. The election, slated for November of this year, has a lot riding on it—no less than the fate of our war-torn nation. Tilden, a proponent of the "peace" movement which advocates for a more reconciliatory stance with the Confederacy, is thought to have long odds against our popular incumbent. Nevertheless, the war has dragged on for some time and some seek a change. As for the Sentinel, we'll take a "wait and see" attitude before issuing an endorsement.

Dear Aunt Sally…

by Sally Mae Baumgarten

Dear Aunt Sally, I can't seem to get rid of my corns. No matter what I do, they come right back. Mama told me to put corn flour on them, but that didn't work. What can I do? — S.

Dear S, the best remedy for corns that I have come across is take a rough stone—like pumice—and really grind down that rascal. Then soak your feet in hot water for a little while. Afterward, put some castor oil on the corns. You should start getting some relief soon enough — Yours, Aunt Sally.

Dear Aunt Sally, how do you get boys to ask you to dance. Asking for my lily-livered sis. — A.

Dear A, the best way to get boys to ask you to dance is a winning smile. Practice your smile in front of a mirror until you get it down pat. Be welcoming, but not tempting. Be friendly, but not forward. A good smile opens many doors. And be nice to your sister. — Yours, Aunt Sally.