The Paiute Springs Sentinel

Special Evening Edition

January 24, 1876

"Ever Vigilant, A Beacon of Truth!"

$0.05

Showdown At High Noon!

by Oliver Milhouse

A dramatic scene played itself out at high noon today on Main Street as the mysterious, skull-faced stranger returned today to call out our town's spiritual advisor, Reverend Timothy Gage—or rather, Timothy Gaught—as the the stranger referred to him as. It appears our esteemed pastor has a checkered past of some sort, if he felt the need to change his name before heading into parts West.

At any rate, credit must be given to the Reverend for facing down the formidable stranger in the middle of the street with nothing but his faith and old Doc Keeler's duster to protect. Yes, friends and neighbors, our own Miss Geraldine Keeler must have made a loan of the eccentric doctor's allegedly bullet-proof garment to the Reverend, for it made an appearance today.

The two men, sinner and saint, exchanged heated words across the dusty street. The skull-faced man, calling the Reverend names like "lily-livered," "deserter," "disloyal," and "traitor," while the Reverend maintained a steely determination to see the confrontation through, each stared eah other down before, finally, things came to a spectacular climax.

Suddenly, the skull-faced man was rocked nearly out of his boots by blast coming from somewhere near the Imperial Saloon. Then the Reverend held aloft his crucifix and began reciting the Lord's Prayer at the stranger. And, lo and behold friends, the stranger began to cower in onslaught! He started backing his way down Main Street, making his way out of town. He never even reached for the Navy pistol he had tucked in his the waistband of his trousers. He just railed against the Reverend and warned him that a "storm was a-comin'. Yes indeed, you all are going to reap a whirlwind!" But the coward backed his way out of town and left.

Neighbors, I have never seen such a demonstration of the power of faith in all my years. Here we had a powerful mean man, a gunman and a bully, cowed by the power of faith. If that, my friends, doesn't put you into a pew on a Sunday, then your soul just can't be saved.

Checkered past or not, the Sentinel gives a tip of the hat to Reverend Gage for his demonstration of faith in the face of adversity.